Mastodawn

Dr shivam Nov 14, 2019

http://therightdirection.in/how-liberals-are-being-systematically-harassed-by-sanghis-and-how-l-o-l-is-their-way-out/

How Liberals are being systematically harassed by Sanghis and how L.O.L is their way out !

Apologies for the delay in publishing the next interview. The past week had been hectic, and painful in more ways than one. To seek relief, I needed a chamber to reflect the echoes of my ideology, and hence I scheduled an interview with Mr. Cutwaraha Communist Kumar (CuCK), leader of a little known but important organization- Liberals of Liberalistan (L.O.L). He is known to be a brilliant activist and a true liberal, someone who has always promoted free speech and secularism, the basic pillars of liberalism. We need voices like his, in this atmosphere of fear in the country. Welcome, Mr. CuCK. How are you feeling? I am good, yes. A little uncomfortable on my rear area though, Mr. CuCK shifted uncomfortably on his chair. I understand your problems, sir. Here, use this. I have been using it for the past three days, I handed him a tube if Burnol. I had been using it for my deep burns on my buttocks ever since THAT happened. Burnol!!! It's a Sanghi propaganda!! Sanghis use it to insult us! No sir, it is an actual medicine too, apart from being a meme. Oh. I didn't know it. Thank you for it. I have received deep burns over…. Your seating area, ever since THAT happened, yes I get it. Don't remind me. It is a memory I would like to erase, The pain was visible on his face. I shifted topics quickly. So sir, what is your take on free speech? I am a strong supporter of free speech. I have always believed that free speech should be encouraged. But I have always seen you tagging Twitter admins and asking them to ban Sanghi accounts. Sanghis don't deserve any freedom of speech!! They are vile abusive motherfu**ers! They are literally Nazis for…for… No need to give reason sir. We know they are bigots for not agreeing to our views. Yes. Exactly! The Sanghis are the most evil creatures on the earth. We liberals should stand together against them and try to destroy their lives and their livelihoods. Agreed. For now, tell me about your organization. Liberals Of Liberalistan? The L.O.L are a group of extremist liberals who want to create our own country, where the rules of Liberalism will work. We want L.O.L to be taken seriously. We know that this India is no longer the one where we grew up. This is not the India which gave unlimited funds to NGOs to carry out their religious conversions, or where Separatists were invited for state dinners, or where Maoists were given University posts. It is true. This India has become highly intolerant of those who hate the country. Liberalistan is a Liberal utopia. Everyone there will be a secular who will give up Hinduism. They may retain any other minority religion if they practice it, but they will have to remove the saffron stain from their lives. Everyone will have to be friends with LGBTQ+ and anyone making the slightest joke will be jailed. But yes, jokes on Hindu deities will be tolerated, even rewarded. Liberalistan is a place where everyone will have to be a Liberal and Secular as defined by a group of five important Liberals, failing which, they will be stripped of their jobs and thrown in jails. I am sure everyone will love to be a part of Liberalistan. Unko karna hoga. They know the consequences of not doing so. We are serious about being anti-Fascist and anyone not agreeing with us will be destroyed. What is your take on JNU protests? Which one? The one that took place yesterday, or the one that took place today? Um, today. About the fee hike. Oh, that's a huge setback for the poor 35-year-old students, whose fathers are laborers and pakodi sellers. How will they now pursue their Ph.D. in African studies till the age of 40 and land a job in some African study-related company? Modi has destroyed India. And JNU is just the beginning! Isn't it sir? Yes. Modi is crushing the spirit of dissent at JNU. What's next? Now 40-year-old students can't even shout slogans hating India and supporting Afzal Guru in peace? This is not the India we grew up in, I repeat. Sir, last question. What is your opinion on…..THAT? Aaaaah, he groaned. I offered him the Burnol again. He tilted slightly on his seat and applied it where it hurt the most and was seated again on the chair, The decision confirmed that the Court is now an RSS mouthpiece! Worst, we expected the Hindus to be all aggressive in their celebration, do something stupid and retaliation by the other party. Then we would have spent another decade abusing Hindus and blaming the decision for destroying communal harmony in India. However…. Nobody reacted the way we wanted, right? Yes. Then, our interns at The Wire, Print, National Herald, etc started writing articles to instigate and provoke one group against the other. Our efforts are on. Hopefully, we will succeed! Inshallah Mr. CuCK! May the dream of L.O.L succeed. I gifted him another packet of Burnol for the way back. He needed it. WE needed it. This was the last of the interviews. I am now assigned to go to an undisclosed location in the jungles for my training at Naxal camps. Long live the revolution!!

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Dr shivam Nov 14, 2019

And this too!
http://therightdirection.in/your-journalism-is-a-joke-and-thats-what-modi-said/

“Your Journalism is a JOKE !!” And that’s what MODI said !!

Here is our next Exclusive Interview on Journalists of One Kind Exclusively (J.O.K.E) The previous interview with Mr. P.A.K.I.S.T.Anees Ghoulam had left me with more questions than answers. He had praised our role in sustaining their narrative against India, and that made me think about the original Godfather of Liberal journalism. That was when I came across the news that he has won the Top Ramen Noodles award for Yellow Journalism. His chief contribution was to find a way to blame everything on Mr. Modi within 2 minutes. He was the reason most of us took up journalism as a hobby and peddling Left agendas as a career. I knew that I had to interview him. Welcome, Mr….. Please don't give me a name here, he cut me off, I am more than a name. I am a movement. I am every kind of movement in India- Leftist movement, Freedom movement, Bowel movement. Understood sir. So, how does it feel to win the prestigious Top Ramen Noodles award? It is amazing, you know. I knew that the peddling Left agenda can be rewarded by money, but I never knew I can get awards too. But what about the allegations that the company that gave away the awards is owned by your brother? What?? How can you accuse me of being a capitalist? I am a socialist, nay, a Communist to the core. Even while coming here, I took a rickshaw, so that people can see how down to earth I am, he said, pouring himself a glass of Champagne. So the company is not owned by your brother? It is owned by him, no doubt. But what my brother does is his problem, not mine. I focus on my work and it was my work that got me the award. Do you want to know the chief reason I won it? What? I coined the expression That's what Modi said! It worked wonders. So, every time anyone even remotely connected to BJP would say or do something stupid, our team would shout on television…. THAT'S WHAT MODI SAID! Yes! Isn't it fun? Wow, sir. You are indeed an inspiration to us. How do you come up with such gems? See, the essence of journalism is not how you find out the truth. Or how you present the truth. Or whether whatever you show is truth at all. The essence of journalism is how well you help those who finance you. I remember what you said on the first day of our college, sir. Please repeat it for the benefit of our readers. Socialist journalism needs capitalism to survive. Amazing. Young reporters like myself learned this from you. We accept money from everywhere, but write to please the one who pays us the most. Correct. Only two ways to make money in this job- either you outsell everyone else, or you become a sellout. Since the former requires work and dedication, I choose to be the latter. So, how will you define your brand of sellout journalism? So my journalism is all about opposing the fascist forces taking over our country. What we have as PM is literally Hitler. There is no space for dissent in the country. And I am doing dissent every day on television to oppose fascism. But they say your shows don't get TRPs any more, and people prefer to watch Mr. Ornob. Yes. But they are common people, cattle class. They don't matter in the industry of news-making. Our journalism is for those who pay for it. They should feel happy that we are speaking their lines. What will the cattle class do by watching news, eh? Become Prime Minister? Actually our current PM was one of those…. And THAT'S why I am here!! To ensure that NOBODY from the aam junta again dares to dream of becoming the PM and that the power of the land remains concentrated in the hands of the few who have the means and power to pay us. I am here to ensure that the common man always remembers that if they dream to be the PM, they will face similar insults, trolling at the hands of the elite and we will encourage that because the ELITE pays us and not the common man. The common man is just that- common, and they are destined to remain so. I stood up and gave him a Nazi salute. He deserved it. His words brought tears to my eyes. You are amazing sir. No other journalist is a match for you. The power-families of the country will forever be grateful to your socialist journalism, which ensured them decades of power before the current disrupter Hitler Modi took over. We still have so much to learn from you. Thank you. It is always a pleasure to rant against Modi because frankly, I love my livelihood. This is what brings in my daily bread. Interview done, we both got up and listened to the Communist anthem and started singing the Aazaadi song with our dear comrade Nahi-kha-ya Kumar who was singing it outside my office. So I really don't understand why some people who worked in the clinic next door suddenly came and threw us all out. Can they not bear some noise? Darr ka maahol hai… P.S. - The picture on the thumbnail has nothing to do with the context of the article. It was just used as a clickbait for gathering views and visitors.

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Dr shivam Nov 14, 2019

Read this exclusive 'interview'!

http://therightdirection.in/and-they-killed-a-son-of-a-headmaster-father-of-a-harvard-student-and-a-religious-scholar-an-exclusive-interview/

And they killed a Son of a Headmaster, Father of a Harvard student and a Religious Scholar – An Exclusive Interview

Yesterday, after a couple of drinks, I started hurling abuses outside our chawl, er, society. I abused my society chairman, my neighbors. I also threw stones at their windows. Now today, they want me locked in my room, er, apartment and not leave until I sober up. Bloody fascists!! So, locked in the confines of my house, I decided to interview the person who would know all about it- Mr Parvez Abdul Khan Iftikhar Shah Tahir Anees Ghoulam , better known as P.A.K.I.S.T.Anees Ghoulam , head of a little known, but extremely active organisation, Kashmiris in India for Separate State Association (K.I.S.S.Ass). The organization is mainly engaged in arranging for stone-throwers for protests and activists for attacking Indian army camps. Activists, Mr. Ghoulam? Well of course. They are active. In activities. The activities that cause death and destruction to the Endian army. That makes them exactly what we call them- Activists. It is an interesting thought. Your activists are sure scaring the hell out of those soldiers! You are getting us wrong brother. Our aim is not to scare them. We want to provoke them into attacking us back. Because who will join our cause if we don't show ourselves to be the victims of state oppression? But would it not harm your kids? I mean, the oppressor Army maiming and killing them, it is bound to have casualties, right? My kids? They are studying in London, where they will marry some Brit and contribute to our global cause. Oooh! Smart! But no, I was talking about the kids you send to attack the Army. Their job description includes the risk. They have the best job in the world- the suicide bomber. No other job in the world so perfectly describes the work and risks so precisely. So how do you recoup the losses? Oh, misguided youth are dime a dozen. Show them some videos, some random photos, activate their minds with key words-sacrifice, freedom, etc. And they are ready to explode for you. Changing the topic for now. It's getting a bit too honest here. Not good journalism! Hahaha! Well said bhaijaan. I am also not much used to honesty. Even in my training sessions, I am barely honest about our Holy Book…. Cutting you off right here Mr P.A.K.I.S.T.Anees Ghoulam! Tell me, what is your response to allegations that you are a Pakistani agent? I interjected to stop him from exposing himself. I find it ridiculous, you know. I work for the interest of the oppressed Muslims of Kashmir! I am not an agent or servant of Pakistan, Mr. P.A.K.I.S.T.Anees Ghoulam replied. So, if Kashmir gets Azaadi, what industries do you think will help in its development? Import-export. Our organization import guns and grenades from Pakistan and export terrorists, er, bomb activists. Lucrative business. But what about the peace-loving people in the Valley? Oh most of them are peace-loving. That is why our recruitment agents work overtime in spreading hate against India. So that the peaceful people join our cause. What kind of agents? The media, and India's liberals, of course. As long as your newspapers run headlines like 'And they hanged Yakub', as long as Burhan Wani is identified as a headmaster's son, as long as Osama is described as a loving father, as long as Baghdadi is called a religious scholar, and as long as your liberals write mercy petitions for our terrorists who killed hundreds of your own people, our activities will never stop receiving volunteers. Well, thanks for the complements. Yes, we love to glorify terrorists for viewership. Also, we will support anyone, ANYONE who is against the current government, even if it means going against the nation. All for our liberal ideology. We want to protect the rights of everyone, especially if we can use them mock the ruling party's claims of a secure India. Exactly bhaijaan. As long as we have the support of the likes of you, our activities will never cease, and one day, we will bring an end to Islamic oppression in India!! That's a noble thought. Speaking of oppression, what do you think about the oppression of Uighurs in China? Uighurs? What is that? Muslims in China… China? Never heard of it. Okay, this interview is over. We have never spoken. Over and out. Just before the line was cut, I could hear the staccato of firing. Time to create another fatherly figure, religious scholar killed by the Army….

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Dr shivam Nov 10, 2019

So I am new here. Anyone gonna help me get to know how things work?