🦩 Attention Porto (and beyond), I have been informed that my human @rnbwkat has been approved to speak at #BSidesPorto in just 11 days!!

I reviewed the situation carefully.
By "carefully," I mean I stood on one leg, stared at the Atlantic for several minutes, and then stole a french fry from an unsuspecting tourist.

The verdict:
We are go for cloud security!!!

Kat will be presenting:
☁️ Misconfigurations in the Cloud (Poke, Poke, Breach!)

A fascinating topic that explores how many security incidents begin not with elite hackers, secret exploits, or cyber ninjas descending from helicopters...
...but with someone clicking the wrong thing six months ago and nobody noticing.

Cloud security is a magical place where:
- Storage buckets occasionally become public.
- Firewall rules develop unexpected enthusiasm for the entire Internet.
- Credentials appear in places they absolutely should not.
- Somebody says, "It's probably fine."
- It is, in fact, not fine.

As a professional flamingo and internationally recognized expert in standing around looking suspicious, I can confirm that attackers spend far less time breaking into systems than they do finding doors that were accidentally left open.

Which is why this talk matters.

Kat will share real-world lessons, common mistakes, and practical ways to avoid turning your cloud environment into a community resource for the entire planet.

Meanwhile, I will be attending BSidesPorto in my official capacity as:
🦩 Flamingo-in-Residence
🦩 Assistant Threat Modeler
🦩 Seagull Intelligence Analyst
🦩 Director of Unnecessary Walking Around Conference Venues
🦩 Cloud Configuration Quality Assurance Bird

Huge thanks to the amazing #BSidesPorto team for putting together another fantastic event!! Security conferences don't happen by magic, they happen because dedicated volunteers pour countless hours into building communities where people can learn, share, and connect!!

So if you're joining us on June 26-27th, come say hello.
I'll be the pink one.
Which, admittedly, narrows it down less than you'd think in Portugal.
🦩☁️🇵🇹

#CloudSecurity #CyberSecurity #Hacking #InfoSec #Porto #Portugal #SashaTheFlamingo #BSides

Five-ish weeks in Gaia and I have questions.

First of all, yes, I am settling in beautifully. The sunsets? Dramatic. The pastries? Suspiciously strategic. The hills? Personally rude, but excellent for flamingo calf definition.

I have also continued my highly professional international schedule, briefly flapping off to Luxembourg, Chicago, and Dublin because apparently @rnbwkat believes “moving to Portugal” means “immediately testing every airport lounge within wing-range.”

But mostly, I have been here in Gaia, studying the local ecosystem.

- And by ecosystem, I mean the seagulls.
- Let me be clear: these are not birds.
- These are organized crime families with feathers.

They patrol the rooftops like tiny airborne mob bosses. They hold meetings on lamp posts. They scream at 6:00 am with the confidence of creatures who have definitely buried evidence. I watched one examine a trash bag with the precision of a forensic accountant and the ethics of a ransomware affiliate.

I respect them.
I do not trust them.

Current working theory: the Porto seagulls control at least three pastry routes, two fish-adjacent territories, and possibly municipal waste management. I am still gathering intelligence, but one of them looked directly at me yesterday and I’m pretty sure it knew my threat model.

Meanwhile, I’m also getting ready to return to more cybersecurity posts soon. Probably next week. I’ve been monitoring honeypots, pondering weird attacker behavior, and preparing my feathers for serious infosec commentary with absolutely unnecessary levels of drama.

Because yes, I may be a dancing flamingo, but I am also an international bird of cyber mystery, badge collector, conference menace, and extremely pink threat analyst. The legend continues, now with more cobblestones and criminal seagulls.

Stay tuned.
Gaia is lovely.
The seagulls are under investigation.
#SecurityCyber #hacking #infosec

It is 7am. My human is already spiraling.

Friends arrive Tuesday. Wednesday. The boxes remain. The laundry has opinions. The servers need patching. There is art on the floor that wants to be on a wall. She is aware of all of this.

She is also going to IKEA today. By choice. Voluntarily. On purpose.

I have ordered shrimp. I am monitoring my honeypots. Someone from a very suspicious IP tried something delightfully stupid overnight and I have been in a wonderful mood ever since.

She asked if there are enough hours in the day.

There are not. There never were. This is known.

I would offer to help with the boxes but I have a 7am shrimp situation and frankly the honeypots don’t tend themselves.

She’ll be fine. Probably.

The boxes though. 👀🦩

Apparently some people voluntarily wake up on a Saturday to help strangers fix their resumes? I'm told this is called "community" and not "a cry for help."

Anyway. The Diana Initiative Career Village is TODAY. 9am – 4pm PDT. Virtual. Still accepting tickets.
There will be lightning talks. Mock interviews. Resume reviews. At least one person running this from a completely different timezone for reasons that were explained but I stopped listening. @rnbwkat

If you're in cybersecurity or trying to get into it — this is free with registration and has actual humans who know things.
Link: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-diana-initiative-2026-tickets-1982420245319

You could spend Saturday doing literally anything else. But could you, though? Really?

#DianaInitiative #CareerVillage #Cybersecurity #WomenInCyber

I have officially landed at #BSidesDublin!!

Yesterday, I was dragged all over this beautiful city like a flamingo on a security incident response retainer. Cobblestones. More cobblestones. Historic cobblestones. Decorative cobblestones. Cobblestones clearly designed by someone who has never considered the delicate structural requirements of fabulous flamingo feet.

But I survived.

The evening was eventually rescued by a couple of Ketel One dirty martinis, because sometimes resilience looks like olive brine and quiet judgment.

Today, I’ll be posted up at @bsidesdublin with @rnbwkat for another round of honeypot stories, attacker nonsense, and the ongoing reminder that sometimes the best way to learn about the internet is to put something weird on it and see who pokes it first.

Come for the security lessons.

Stay for the flamingo commentary.

And if anyone asks whether I’m part of the official speaker lineup, the answer is obviously yes. I’m just not listed because the schedule couldn’t handle my star power.

#cybersecurity #bsidesdublin #hacking

I spent part of today in #Porto watching a seagull conduct what can only be described as a highly targeted extraction operation against a trash bag.

This was not random bird chaos.

This feathery little criminal carefully opened the bag, tossed useless garbage aside one piece at a time, and selectively harvested food scraps with the precision of a surgeon and the confidence of someone who absolutely knows the police are understaffed.

Frankly, I’ve seen worse methodology from penetration testers.

Then the Metro rolled past and both of us got distracted because apparently neither flamingos nor seagulls are equipped to ignore large shiny moving objects.

After that, I returned to my normal Thursday activities:

- monitoring honeypots
- glaring at suspicious inbound traffic
- and performing critical pastry analysis across Porto.

Current assessment:
- Portuguese seagulls are running advanced threat operations.
- The pastel de nata supply remains dangerously delicious.
- And I continue to be the only professional flamingo in this entire city.

Oh and I'll be at @bsidesporto in June along with @rnbwkat , so you should say hi.

#CyberSecurity #infosec #hacking

Day 4. Gaia.

I want it on the record that I SAID something about the cobblestones. I raised concerns. I submitted formal complaints. I was offered a shoulder as a solution and I accepted because what choice did I have, and THEN we walked ten miles anyway.

TEN MILES.

On cobblestones.

I stumbled. Twice. TWICE. Which frankly given the absolute chaotic uneven disaster that is historic Portuguese street infrastructure, is a testament to my grace, my athleticism, and my general magnificence as a flamingo.

Did anyone stumble? I'm not going to name names. @rnbwkat - I'm just going to say that I was not the only one negotiating with those cobblestones yesterday and leave it at that.

The views though.

FINE. The views were spectacular. The Douro was stunning. The light was absurd in the best possible way. If this is what ten miles of cobblestone negotiation gets you I can see why humans do this walking thing.

I remain officially on record as having Concerns about the infrastructure.
I also remain officially obsessed with this new home!

Do not tell Kat I said that. She is insufferably smug about being right and I cannot encourage that behavior.

— Sasha 🦩
#cybersecurity #porto #infosec #hacking

Chicago had the L.

Porto has cobblestones.

I have reviewed the threat landscape. The cobblestones are a known issue. I have secured a shoulder to sit on @rnbwkat My plumage remains impeccable and I will not be elaborating further.

What I will be elaborating on: the food. The pastéis de nata. The fresh seafood. The francesinha, which I have been told is either a magnificent culinary achievement or a crime scene and I intend to find out personally.

And the Port.

We are moving to Vila Nova de Gaia. Do you understand what that means? The Port wine lodges are literally there. This is not a coincidence. This was strategic. (Kat says it wasn't. Kat is wrong.)

Porto, cá estou eu!

#BSidesPorto June 26th–27th. Come find us. I'll be the flamingo. She'll be the one mainlining Port and pretending her Portuguese is better than it is.

— Sasha 🦩

Friendly reminder that today is both Tax Day AND the night @rnbwkat is hosting her farewell tequila tasting at Nobody's Darling. (Chicago)

One of these things will cause you pain.
The other will absolutely fix it.

Chef Nancy Duran is feeding you. Jeannie Tanner is providing the soundtrack. Kat is pouring things in an order that will surprise you and make complete sense by the end.

Also there may or may not be a flamingo in attendance. Flamingos do not pay taxes. Just saying.

https://www.nobodysdarlingbar.com/product/Tequila-Darling