. Wants to know what makes you tick and exploit it. Likes rope a lot.| Languages | English (native), Deutsch (mittel) |
| Orientation | pansexual |
| Pronouns | Male (he/him) |
| Partners on k.b | @Boo |
I replied to a person’s request for advice on another social platform. They were asking about something I have a fair degree of expertise in, so I thought I’d be helpful and share what I know.
I was met with “who asked?”… uh… literally you? Like, explicitly asked for advice. People are mystifying
I should be more bothered by how many people post their opinions in public, then say “no one asked you” when people respond with their own opinions.
But… it’s just too funny for me to get mad about it
@LeonianUniverse it was a hard barrier for me to get past. But the perspective shift for me was that it wasn’t #spanking itself that was being used in a punishing or abusive way, it was the nonconsensual control behind it
It is VERY different, in practice, to be hit consensually. Which means it’s also VERY different to spank someone who actively wants it. Conditioning is real, and it can take time to break free of it.
I don’t think either label would ever fully fit me, but it would be really nice to have a broadly-accepted shorthand for “mental and emotional connection is much more important to whether I find someone sexually attractive than any other factor”
Like, I’m pansexual, but I don’t really get turned on without that component of “the way you think / see the world fascinates and engages me”.
I really wish the term “sapiosexual” hadn’t got co-opted by so many assholes that decided it meant “being attracted to an incredibly narrow and biased (often racist and ableist) definition of ‘intelligent people’” rather than being attracted to people based on how they think more than how they look.
I get that noetisexual exists to address that, by being about having a mental connection as a key part of sexuality, but it’s so bland-feeling as a word. It sucks when assholes ruin nice things
Not sure who needs to hear this, but “being an asshole” is not dominant behavior.
Dominance is confident control, and being an asshole shows you lack both confidence and control.
I want to be clear here: you can absolutely play a top role that involves consensually acting like an asshole to someone. That’s entirely valid. It’s just not an example of dominance
And if you act like an asshole outside of such a negotiated dynamic, then you’re just an asshole. And actually BEING an asshole is very much the opposite of being dominant.
👻™ supreme goblin 🐊