. Wants to know what makes you tick and exploit it. Likes rope a lot.| Languages | English (native), Deutsch (mittel) |
| Orientation | pansexual |
| Pronouns | Male (he/him) |
| Partners on k.b | @Boo |
I replied to a person’s request for advice on another social platform. They were asking about something I have a fair degree of expertise in, so I thought I’d be helpful and share what I know.
I was met with “who asked?”… uh… literally you? Like, explicitly asked for advice. People are mystifying
I should be more bothered by how many people post their opinions in public, then say “no one asked you” when people respond with their own opinions.
But… it’s just too funny for me to get mad about it
I don’t think either label would ever fully fit me, but it would be really nice to have a broadly-accepted shorthand for “mental and emotional connection is much more important to whether I find someone sexually attractive than any other factor”
Like, I’m pansexual, but I don’t really get turned on without that component of “the way you think / see the world fascinates and engages me”.
I really wish the term “sapiosexual” hadn’t got co-opted by so many assholes that decided it meant “being attracted to an incredibly narrow and biased (often racist and ableist) definition of ‘intelligent people’” rather than being attracted to people based on how they think more than how they look.
I get that noetisexual exists to address that, by being about having a mental connection as a key part of sexuality, but it’s so bland-feeling as a word. It sucks when assholes ruin nice things
Not sure who needs to hear this, but “being an asshole” is not dominant behavior.
Dominance is confident control, and being an asshole shows you lack both confidence and control.
I want to be clear here: you can absolutely play a top role that involves consensually acting like an asshole to someone. That’s entirely valid. It’s just not an example of dominance
And if you act like an asshole outside of such a negotiated dynamic, then you’re just an asshole. And actually BEING an asshole is very much the opposite of being dominant.
As a side note: this is a good opportunity to remind people just starting their BDSM / kink journey that “dominant” and “top” roles can include a lot of things that wankers will try to argue are inherently submissive. Ignore that bullshit.
If you’re dominant but sometimes like to just get fucked hard, you *might* be a switch, or you might be a dominant making your submissive fuck you. Only you and your partner(s) can figure that out, and neither answer is more valid
Now that was a good weekend, and if I haven’t said “hooray for #polyamory” enough lately, let me fix that!
I had an awesome overnight play time with @Boo, and a relaxing morning date. The pegging and pie (key lime!) combo is just perfection
And then I got a nice scene with my property (K); a 9-mile bike ride after flogging, paddling, and caning her ass was a delightful bit of sadism, if I do say so myself
👻™ supreme goblin 🐊