guys!!!!!!!!!!! i love my cat

little einsteins theme song plays as i die, sinking into a pit of quicksand

alvin the chipmunk is VERY fuckable

i just pantsed my peed

teddy bears were named after ted cruz

the coldest you can ever feel is RIGHT after you step out of a hot shower and you don’t have clothes on and you’re like BRRRRRR$:@1$:&/&

my mom’s credit card got stolen. by me

the first person to scroll through my feed and find the freddie benson toot and boost it gets my credit card information