How do I tell people my eyes go AWOOGA when I see their selfies?

Addison Barger with a GRAND SLAM!!!!

I remember last year, I was watching a Blue Jays spring training game and one of their pitchers had the most voluptuous ass, ooooohhhhhh, I was drooling!

While watching the Pokemon direct, I kept saying, "I don't play the games anymore, but I am still a Pokemon fan," and then they announce Winds and Waves... I'm getting that! Looks 1000% better than Legends ZA.

I'm so tempted to register a website and update it, a la livejournal/deadjournal style for "social media posts."

I tried a White Monster once. And now, I’m straight. 🫤

Do I dare read some R.L. Stines' Goosebumps? I read one when I was younger, and I made a mistake... It is almost October...

hoopla has a bingepass for Midsomer Murders and I must exercise self control!!

Wearing calf-high rubber boots makes me feel so cunty.