John-Paul Keates

@jpkeates
1,021 Followers
1.5K Following
4.2K Posts

Retired
My posts are almost entirely jokes and terrible puns.

I'm a 64 year old, straight white male. So my experiences of racism and sexism have been largely positive.

Profile Image description - A bearded man in a room looks into the camera. He has a face best suited to a text description.

LocationWest Midlands, UK
Born1961
StatusDamaged, but functional.

Floodlight T20 matches?

They can cricket when the sun don't shine!

#LunchPun

I can't believe they call it KPop when Seoul Music is right there!

#LunchPun

My marriage is like a fairy tale! Grimm.

#LunchPun

@jpkeates

In the mortuary wing of the local hospital there was a todo.. One of the Dr.s tied his last stitch, so tospeak..

The other forensic doctors were full of trepidation... No one wanted to be the first to cut Coroners.

#awwwwTopsy

Happy "Hosing of the Green Vomit" day to all who celebrate.
Meningitis B is scary, but Meningitis C is better known as Sporty Meningitis.
With the latest update, "We didn't start the Fire" is longer than Tubular Bells.

Everyone flying on St Patrick's Day uses their luggage arms.

#LunchPun

Being too big to go down is a warning sign for a football club and a new boyfriend.

The next time a volcano erupts causing weeks of travel chaos, I want to see the words Eruptile Dysfunction in a headline.

#LunchPun