Anyway, vengeful medical examiner got up to all kinds of logistical subterfuge to frame other guy etc, and this guy was Jigsaws other other other apprentice or whatever, there’s a LOT of flashback speechifying in here before we get to Leoban’s head getting lasered into eights.

You know what we didn’t get? MICHAEL FUCKING EMERSON.

FIN

Got a Pigface appearance at the ol’ murder puzzle barn with our two survivors, and who is it?

Straight up John Kramer, who in his so far unexplained reincarnation has gone back to the shitty soul patch stripe. But his brain tumor back in the day went undiagnosed because of a clerical error! I have no idea if that is a subtle callback or is gonna go somewhere or what.

“Did you know that pigs are highly compassionate animals?”
“What about you, John?”

Anyway, Eleanor the red-headed medical examiner hangouts out on a Jigsaw fan site on the dark web and it turns out she has a warehouse studio where she’s recreated a bunch of Jigsaw’s traps. That’ll probably, y’know, something something.

One of our poor souls, Mitch, sold a hog with bad brakes to JIGSAW’S NEPHEW OH GOLLY.

And Jigsaw’s disinterred coffin has THE WRONG GUY IN IT OH JEEZ.

Body of dead Mitch shows up in Eleanor’s studio! UH OH!

This particular crew of doomed strangers seems unusually bad at trying to figure shit out.

Ironic twist of medical pros using medical tools to viscerally crack open a chest as NOT part of a murder puzzle.

Grain silo peril! Where’s Harrison Ford when you need him.

Really and truly: the vibe is off. This movie isn’t any worse per se than the last few, but it hasn’t got the right feel. Irony of film about a copycat feeling conspicuously copycatty.

One of those unlucky five was asleep for most of the trap, and died horribly just not quite on-screen, which makes me think he didn’t die at all and is gonna be a key player in a TWIST. But SOMEBODY’S bucket-headed body was found with a jigsaw puzzle piece wound.

Overt directorial flourish: cutting from murder puzzle barn chain to bike chain.

Coroner cuts off bucket with HANDHELD LASER hrmmm

And hey, Jigsaw puppet on trike is back, complete with weird laugh.

Well, now. Seven years after the last one, it’s time for: JIGSAW!

Big news: we’ve got cops, and I have a feeling at least one of them will probably be sad.

Maybe our new main character, LEOBAN FROM BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.

Also several people have buckets on their heads and they’re all very upset. Apparently, Jigsaw (who wants to play a game) disapproves of them being, non-specifically, liars.

Cary sets Hoffman up in the old SAW I horrid room, and then grabs the hacksaw and throws it away, toward the camera, in what absolutely MUST have been one of the conspicuous IN 3D moments but is just silly out of context, and that’s it, Hoffman is super fucked (OR IS HE?!?!?!) and that’s FIN

Still no nu-metal credits. No post credits this time either.