Mastodawn

Mollz

@haymollz

551 Followers

125 Following

346 Posts

Whats up buttercup

Pronouns	She/her
Status	L0ser

thank u @haymollz

Playing tooth fairy 5 days late and I put the money under the pillow but I cant find the fucking tooth???

Mollz Oct 13

15 minutes after letting my kid have a gumball: "did you swallow it"
"No"
"...did you stick it somewhere"
"No 😏"
"...."
"Dw it fell out of my mouth"

My child, after discovering discarded chocolate wrappers in the trash, red eyes, red face, fists clenched, single syllables gasped out between sobs: YOU! HAD! THEM! WITH!OUT! ME!

Me: …

Mollz Oct 13

Dan of the Year Oct 13

damn it feels good to be a #fuckaas

Mollz Oct 13

Zeph Oct 13

Oooh spooky mystery flavor!? What could it be, because it looks a lot like watery cum

Mollz Oct 13

RE: https://mastodon.social/@haymollz/115364018526679647

Bringing some of these to the graduate lounge and leaving them for free daring anyone to make the stereotypical "act of transgression" from a horror movie

Mollz Oct 13

Show thread

Ladyboo Lane 👻Oct 13

@haymollz my three moods

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Mollz Oct 13

I tried to make some normal decorated cookies and my kid was NOT having it lmfao

Mollz Oct 13

Alright my kid has found her niche with the creepy eye thing.