I’m celebrating national orchid day by continuing to neglect my orchids.

I’m updating my work computer to avoid doing actual work.

Friends have offered to visit to help care for me after surgery. I wonder if they’d still come knowing I don’t need them for recovery but would like them to murder Gertrude for me.

It’s nice to start using a CPAP right when I’m considering dating again because the maskne is screaming at me to crawl back into my hag hole and not come out.

Tomorrow is national orchid day 🤓

I’d like to have a funeral for my gallbladder. My body will stop producing gall and that’s a sad occasion.

But if they remove my gallbladder, where will my body produce its gall?

It’s been confirmed: the gallbladder will be coming out. I should throw it a party.

Sure, I could try to stay awake long enough to see the sun go down. It might seriously impede my tossing and turning all night, though.