I wish I could have real, proper interests, but yeah. I don't think I come back from this depression.

I'm not interested in positivity talk or stuff that only exists inside me, because that is always confined inside. It never reaches outside where it can make things better for me, and I resent having to keep that pent up and just exist with nothing.

I'm not interested in "well it's this or nothing". That's not a choice. Let's do something better that makes things better.

Let's meet up for coffee(I'll just have water, because budget. And no, you can't talk about that)

Let's talk about ideas and ways to practically get this changed.

I'm too old, too tired and too late for a long slow process of my thirties again.

I'm interested in meeting people who want to make the actual change, not just sit there and comiserate and be useless doomers.

I'm going to George Square tomorrow and again on Saturday. meet me there and let's have a walk around the city centre.

I'd love the company

the only desire I have left before I die is to be kissed under the stars by lots of people

is it possible you'd be interested?

realistically I'll never afford transition or have a job or comfort

I'm not your pity pet or to be comiserated with

that's why I don't talk much any more. it's too much to only be that and never be a friend or colleague or good for anyone.

not interested in your pity for this, but you can at least help me transition.

sorry i'm not good enough at social skills to be anything

yup, it's this again. sorry I can't do anything right

not interested in comiseration right now, just help me get money and hormones so I can think of other things

distractions haven't given me solutions

hug me if you see me irl

that bit everyone can do if they want

I mean, could I start talking about things I was interested in? am I still passionate?

or is it just misleading to pretend while I hurt so much?

can't even get off an addicition to nicotine I'm so useless

I am a bad person

I wish I could find a positive, but those end and I'm back here with no change

there's no inspiration or creativity or anything left in my mind. just existential horror. this is not good enough

there's nothing to me, abused out as a child. I made a mistake choosing to survive