Ever since age 12, I have landed a 747 every time I've sat on a toilet, complete with engine noises and sometimes radio chatter. Even at work. I'm in my 50s. Never been on a flight deck of any aircraft.

I clean up my place only if a woman says she wants to come over.

Late 40s. Wife suggested I shave my pubes. I thought we were trying something new and saucy. Turns out since we had the bathroom re-tiled, stray pubes are very obvious on the floor. I admire her practicality.

I just let out a ripper of a fart and it made me think of my old workplace where it was acceptable to let one go at any time. My new workplace saddens me. I've worked there for 4 years and haven't felt the freedom in all that time.

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I just spent 5 hours of my work day vibe coding a todo list app and 1 hour doing the tasks. Sadly I genuinely believe this was a good use of time

I spend far too much time wondering how people with really long fingernail extensions wipes their arses after a dump. Must be minging back there.

My wife is under strict instructions not to touch or otherwise interfere with my cardboard boxes labeled computer parts. They actually contain a dozen jars of peanut butter that I eat directly with a spoon.

As a kid I got way too into my left-handedness because I liked being different but the reality is I'm cross-dominant and only prefer to do 75% with my left. Sabotaged myself in several sports by insisting on throwing and playing racquet sports with my left my entire childhood.