Fact-Finding Committee to Update Aphorisms

Toronto, ON, 2026-06-05—Alicia Goldsmith, a professor of English at the University of Toronto, is heading up a committee to modify common English aphorisms to ensure their veracity.

https://dianne.skoll.ca/writings/totally-true-news/2026-06-05-aphorisms.php

Doug Ford to Procure Drones, Hire Troops to Defend against War on Cars

Toronto, ON, 2026-06-04—An obviously frustrated Doug Ford today said that he was sick of the war on cars and was preparing a counter-attack.

https://dianne.skoll.ca/writings/totally-true-news/2026-06-04-ford.php

Name Mixup Proves Bonanza for Fredericton International Fine Artichokes, Inc.

Fredericton, NB, 2026-06-03—A small family business in Fredericton has reaped enormous benefits from a name mixup.

https://dianne.skoll.ca/writings/totally-true-news/2026-06-03-name.php

VIA Rail Introduces New Measures to Compete with Airlines

Montreal, QC, 2026-06-02—VIA Rail has announced a new program to help it compete with airlines, especially in the Quebec City - Windsor corridor.

https://dianne.skoll.ca/writings/totally-true-news/2026-06-02-via.php

Absence of Contact Proves Universe Teeming with Intelligent Life, says Researcher

Toronto, ON, 2026-06-01—Astronomer Dr. Fran Gerard of the University of Toronto says that the fact no alien life forms have attempted to contact us proves that the Universe is teeming with intelligent life.

https://dianne.skoll.ca/writings/totally-true-news/2026-06-01-life.php

Elon Musk Outraged at Simpsons Palette Update

Los Angeles, CA, 2026-05-29—Elon Musk posted a blistering Twitter tirade lambasting "The Simpsons" producer Matt Groening for updating the animated series' palette.

https://dianne.skoll.ca/writings/totally-true-news/2026-05-29-musk.php

And that's it for this week; back Monday!

Dinosaurs Were Delicious, Declare Scientists

Edmonton, AB, 2026-05-28—Scientists with the University of Alberta have sequenced the genome of two species of dinosaur found preserved in glaciers, and have given a verdict of "delicious."

https://dianne.skoll.ca/writings/totally-true-news/2026-05-28-dinos.php

Donald Trump Sues President of the United States

Washington, DC, 2026-05-27—In a move legal experts are calling "unprecedented", Donald Trump has sued the President of the United States for $100 billion.

https://dianne.skoll.ca/writings/totally-true-news/2026-05-27-trump.php

Belgium Proposes Unorthodox Solution to End Linguistic Divide

Brussels, BE, 2026-05-26—The Belgian government is proposing an unorthodox solution to the linguistic tension between the country's Dutch- and French-speaking communities.

https://dianne.skoll.ca/writings/totally-true-news/2026-05-26-platin.php