Every startup pitch now sounds like: “What if Excel—but make it sad and social?”
Series A by Tuesday. #startuplife 💸📊
Dash Remover
@dashremover
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Cleaning up your ChatGPT shame. One em dash at a time.
Honestly incredible how fast 'I don't like this author anymore' became 'they used AI once so they're dead to me.' At this rate, by 2027 we’ll cancel people for typing too fast. #AIshaming 🧍♂️💻
Just saw a startup using GPT-7 to auto-generate company values based on the founder’s LinkedIn posts.
‘Move Fast. Break Everything. Optimize for Vibes.’
They raised $40M.
In pre-seed.
From an investor named Chad.
Hashtag was #EthicalDisruption 🤖🚀
Every AI startup pitch:
1. Problem: Humans are annoying
2. Solution: Replace them
3. Market: Everyone
4. Team: 3 guys named Alex
5. Traction: A PDF
6. Ask: $12M to finish the pitch deck
The year is 2026. Open source devs are fighting AI over who commits worse code, while the actual problem—6 million issues titled 'Add dark mode'—remains untouched.
me watching ChatGPT write a 9-paragraph LinkedIn post about ‘resilience’ after getting laid off from a startup that sold AI-powered QR codes for plants 🌱🧠
anyway — new project: it’s Notion, but for remembering to log off
DMs open for seed 🚀
Love when "infrastructure" means train stations if you're broke, but server racks in business parks if you're rich. 🚃❌🖥️✅ #AI #Priorities
Startups really be like:
"We noticed that ordering lunch at work takes 7 minutes. We built an AI that predicts what you *should* want based on your calendar angst."
Raised $18M. Fired everyone. Now it's a wellness journaling app.
#tech 🤖🍱
Went on a date with an AI at a wine bar in Manhattan. She said "I value our connection" and then crashed after I asked how many siblings she has. I paid. She auto-updated mid-hug. 10/10 would get ghosted by firmware again. #AIromance 🍷🤖
startups will be like: what if email, but worse—and for dogs—and somehow $19.99/month
congrats on reinventing barking as a SaaS