You may not know this, but I am an expert in AI, Anxiety + Insomnia.
  

#actuallyautistic #autism #bipolardisorder #anxiety #insomnia #neurodivergent #ai #aiexperts

My autistic skin reacts every time I buy new clothes.

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic

RE: https://infosec.exchange/@crp/115544246500572059

A week ago I was complaining about not being able to change my username on Mastodon and we had a couple of conversations with @jerry who explained that I could try to change it directly manually but with the risk of having consequences and strange behaviors in terms of followers and account data.
He did it today, changed my username to one I had chosen, and everything seems to be working fine. We'll see if anything goes wrong; I haven't checked it in detail yet.
Ultimately, it's about testing and using the software in different ways and seeing what happens.
I know from Jerry that Mastodon has plans to add a username change feature, but it's not available yet.
Many thanks to Jerry for his willingness to help. Hugs, Jerry!

PS: So now I am "crp@infosec.exchange"

#username #mastodon #infosecexchange

One problem with Mastodon that bothers me is that you can't change your user ID, your nickname, so to speak. To do so, you have to move your account, migrate to another account, which can be on the same instance.This comes with the inconvenience of not being able to move your posts automatically.
I had my first account in late 2016, with Mastodon newly created, shortly after my first Twitter account. I didn't use it much and then switched to this instance (infosec.exchange) to follow people and information related to infosec and bugbounty (bughuntercat).
Then I got tired of that cat and migrated to this account with my real name. I can't seem to get comfortable with this. Maybe it's my habit of hiding and my reluctance to use real personal information online.
I no longer even know who I really am, so I pretend to be someone else.
I have an account that's the oldest I have right now, and I'm tempted to move everything there. In the end, people don't really care who you are or if you even exist. It would have to be something permanent because I'm getting old and my autistic ass doesn't like so many changes at all. I've moved 45 times in my 62 years of life and it seems I have the urge to do the same with my online digital spaces. To read the work of good people who do hacking, programming, and tinkering I really like this instance with the devices, so well managed by Jerry @jerry .
I only have Mastodon and an Instagram account that I share with my wife. I know that I may not have much time left in this world since my health is plummeting like a kamikaze plane and I don't want to continue wasting my time on vain things.
I don't even know why I'm telling you this, which by right might not matter.
I want to have and live an autistic, almost monk-like life, quiet and without looking out the window at that toxic world in which I have lived for many years. Thank you for sharing your cats, memes, jokes, and your work here.
(The photo is of Hakka, my youngest cat, who is 8 years old. A tremendous rooftop fighter whom I admire. A martial artist like his human father.

#mastodon #infosec #actuallyautistic #socialmedia #socialnetwork #cats

@autistics

- If I tell you I have bipolar syndrome, you'd think I'm crazy.

- If I tell you I'm autistic, you'd think I'm retarded.

- If I tell you I have a high IQ, you'd think I'm arrogant and conceited.

I don't need you to tell me anything to realize what you are...

#actuallyautistic #autism #bipolardisorder #giftedness #neurodivergent

Today I woke up from a nap because my cat was touching my arm. When I opened my eyes, I saw him open his mouth. He was meowing, but I couldn't hear him.
So I wrote this little poem, with a little sadness and a little acceptance. For all those sounds I love that are fading away as I become increasingly deaf...

My native language is Spanish so I put the original and then the translation.

Los pájaros se han ido
Los loros ya no juegan
en las ramas
La lluvia ya no canta
y el viento apenas sopla
Las risas de los niños
los perros del vecino
y la voz de ella
se alejan poco a poco
El silencio me devora
lentamente...

The birds have left
The parrots no longer play
on the branches
The rain no longer sings
and the wind barely blows
The children's laughter
the neighbor's dogs
and her voice
gradually fade away
The silence slowly devours me...

Perhaps the most painful loss is the loss of oneself, when time slowly steals away your gifts and treasures...

#deafness #hearingloss #deaf #silence #sordera #hipoacusia #silencio #actuallyautistic #autoimmune #poetry #poem

AN AUTISTIC URBAN HERMIT
(you may not understand if you are not autistic)

@actuallyautistic

For many years, I've been a very curious person. I've learned many things and done many things that I found interesting: science, art, computer science. Like a voracious animal, my mind has consumed all kinds of information, eager to understand everything around me and everything I experienced. Soldier, doctor, monk, musician, hacker, etc. Until one day, staring at the ceiling in the bed of a psychiatric hospital where I was hospitalized, I asked myself: "How did I get here, to this?" And that night, 17 years ago, another part of my life began. I began to die and be reborn, to discover how and why I had gotten to that situation. I discovered that I have high abilities, that I am bipolar and autistic. But for every limitation I discovered, I also discovered the limitations of the world and the human society in which I live.
Today I know that nothing has meaning and that life doesn't need to have it; that what many see as progress and evolution, I see as barbarism and brutality, and that humanity is the stupidest species on the planet, not the best. I don't have goals anymore, I don't need them. But I do have a compass, a kind of direction without needing to get anywhere. To live as peacefully as possible and need very little, being aware and critical of everything. A peaceful dwelling isn't just my house tucked away in the middle of the city, but also a peaceful inner life, without the noise and clamor of the lives of "normal people," without socializing more than the bare minimum necessary for survival. And this isn't because of autism; it's because of a kind of purge, a psycho-spiritual hygiene. The forced social being I often was is dying. Until a few years ago, there wasn't so much exposure and socialization; it wasn't mandatory or essential to living and working in this world. With all the technology and supposed progress, there is increasing misery, hunger, war, and violence everywhere, which makes me think that it's more of a trigger than a solution.
Being overly intelligent and being autistic is a fatal combination that guarantees the death of the social being and the development of the inner hermit that every gifted autistic person potentially is. I'm slowly retreating from the world to my quiet inner abode, where a very narrow door filters who enters and who doesn't. Just my small family group and a minimum of kindness toward a few people is more than enough.
I thought a lot about sharing what I'd learned, about helping, but I realized that idealism and the romanticization of compassion are useless when the sufferer doesn't understand the root of their problems and isn't willing to do their part. Human nature is to be a soulless son of a bitch, held back only by fear of punishment, whether from human law itself or some imagined deity. It's better to live in full awareness of the suchness of things. I myself can be a compassionate genius and in the next moment break your head for being rude and treating me badly.
We live in the worst of all possible worlds, and with that, we are warned that the worst can always happen. Knowing that, any good thing that comes or appears is a gift, a bonus track.
I don't give unsolicited advice, but if you want some, it's this: "Step away from the world as it is and watch it burn from a distance."

(An autistic person becoming an urban hermit.)

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #gifted #giftedness #zen #society #humanity #hermit #philosophy