i wonder how much i can realistically attribute this situation to aphantasia (i don't personally know anyone else with this) and being born in a *rather* poor (low mid class) family in brazil, because only my father stayed broken and poor in sao paulo. 4 other family members moved in to east usa and did fine financially, plus a few other extended family member still with the same "strong genes", if that matters.

also, nobody else in the family actually sold services as "program boy/man".

can anyone idealize (aka imagine) living as a software developer for 30 years, knowing (probably "too") much about computers and the world, never having any public or enforcable debt, and still ending up completely broken (in debt, with no credit) without money or any close friends (plural)?

(to continue, but i actually do not have an answer)