I hate to admit this, but there is such a deep rooted desire to make "The Thing" that I don't want to contribute. But I'm learning that. I actually want to contribute. I want to contribute more than make "The Thing." Though it would be fun to co-create the thing non-hierarchically.
I think that the desire is rooted in coming up in silicon valley and capitalism. This is obvious.
More interestingly is the desire to be a solo-dev on something gives me the space and freedom to experience power by intentionally stepping out of hierarchy. It also allows me to focus more on learning all the pieces and thinking through it. Which is often the primary motivator for me.
But I'm just noticing now the desire to step out of hierarchical systems. That's always been there. And I think that's brought me a meaningful feeling of agency.