No shrinkflation for our cat's dry food. No drop in quality. But the bag that cost £14 in 2015 is now £40. Which makes me wonder about how much other things must have dropped in quality if they haven't gone up that much in price.

It's time for ice cream vans to go the way of the Dodo. Endless arguments with my kids for overpriced and underwhelming ice creams. Disturbing my summer with their shit jingles.

A beautiful river bank, popular for its quiet and tranquility, some al fresco dining on offer - yes, very nice. But they should all ban buskers who use loud speakers. Starting with you, Richmond upon Thames.

The only reason people ever fit a "chameleon" tint to the windscreen is to try to evade detection and prosecution for things they already know they shouldn't be doing. The police could improve their stats many times over by concentrating on the drivers of those vehicles.

The conspiracy isn't that the Earth is flat, but that Flat Earthers exist. They don't; nobody's that insane. The Internet spends its time arguing with imaginary people.

If you're going to buy expensive clothing, you should get it sewn for you or altered to fit. Why spend so much just to wear something made to the measurements of a hypothetical other person?

Spicy is not a flavour and the more you use it the more you lose your ability to taste.

Going to the beach always sounds better than the experience of actually being on a beach. It's usually too windy and sand gets everywhere. It's more faff than it's worth most of the time.

All sauces are just diluted jam.

Funny how American Christians get so triggered when a Pope comes along who advocates for peace and compassion rather than war and racism. Almost like they're not really Christian at all.