Seen on bsky:
Of course asking someone what genitals they had at birth is a breach of the right to privacy. Theyâre called âprivate partsâ not âprivate unless you suspect the person is transgender and then be as invasive as you want partsâ
I ended up writing a thread:
https://bsky.app/profile/djnavarro.net/post/3lrtgg5ucb225
it has been my experience over the last 10 years that cis people do not consider any part of a trans persons body private, and they literally cannot understand why we might need or deserve the same privacy that they have
itâs died down a lot for me because iâve been out for so long but in the early days oh my god. everyone had questions about my genitals, my breasts, my sex life, everything. they would ask these questions in my *workplace* without a care in the world, because a trans persons body is public property
and letâs be clear, the people asking these intrusive borderline-sexual-harassment questions in my workplace werenât âthe bad peopleâ. it was academics, progressive lefties, professional folks. the ones who pride themselves on being allies. those people were actually the worst in this respect
i often think about this behaviour, because in some ways it was formative for me. i just sort of accepted that this is how it works if youâre trans. your body is not your own, it belongs to everyone else who has a question or opinion about it. you become desensitised to privacy violations,
so much so that you learn to disclose in advance, you start to view your own body and your own sex life as something that others are entitled to. why not be open on social media about all the dicks youâve sucked? after all, youâre probably going to get asked about it around the water cooler anyway
itâs crass, yes, and often people find it confronting how open trans people are about these topics. but thatâs not our fault: we are this way because you made us this way. cis people donât permit us privacy in any form, and the only way we can have any dignity is to just say âah fuck itâ and be open
believe it or not i used to be an extremely private person. before transition i tried not to disclose any details about myself. the person i am now? thatâs the person i had to be to cope with cis intrusiveness