Do they have conjurers on Fiverr? I'm looking to marry a ghost and I need a real pro to summon my seancé.

I downloaded the new white house app, and my JitterBug fucking melted! At least a dogecoin fell out of the SD card slot first.

Kind of crazy that we hear pedophile news everyday but still have to whisper 'abortion'.

MFW seeing live action Maui for the first time.

Thank God™ this freezer burn is finally clearing up. I'm gonna have a scab so big I have to crawl out of it.

Poison the Well just put out an amazing album, America is at war in the middle east, and I hate my job. I feel like I'm in the movie Primer and I got in the time machine in 2007. Like a Schrodinger's Quantum Leap. God, I'm old.

Part of me wonders if Trump said 'why didn't you tell me about Pearl Harbor' because he just found out about it today.

I just saw an AI rendering of an AI data center. How adorable! They're dreaming of homeownership, too. Good luck, jerk.

I've been out of the loop for a few days. Who are the straights muzzling?!

My knee hurts and I hate my job. I'm basically Stone Cold Steve Austin.