Official Internet Culture Update: anyone with an anime profile icon is probably cool. AI icons are the new red flag.

I've been bringing my trash down to The Glug and chucking it in there. Seems like it'll be fine. If your town has a mysterious, seemingly manufactured pit full of liquid that dissolves everything that touches it on contact, leave a comment with what you do with it! #GlugHacks

I think I'm just going to use the descriptor ra(c/p)ist for Trump. It's efficient and accurate!

If you want a piece of shit, I can give you a piece of shit. I have pooped 4 times today already. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Walter T Panda.

I was just discussing Russia's future moon base plans with a friend of mine. Given their initial space entries decades ago, do you think the first room built on the base will be the dog cafe? I bet the Starbucks Laika Latte will be so expensive.

I just realized, Trump has to be painting himself orange for OSHA regulations. You have to clearly label any threats.

Breaking news: Initial images are surfacing of Acting President Donald 'Justifiable' Trump touching an adult male instead of his usual victims.

My only concern with the new Hungarian leadership is that their atmospheric black #metal might get less aggressive. Someone please think of the metal!

American Badass era Undertaker deglazing a pan: "Get out of maillard."

People on Netflix dating shows talk like they're on a job interview for a wedding.