Please, do investigate this staff and go back 3 years to look at them in total.

Russia would like to invade our country, but would not like you having advanced warning. They have paid several children in our area to set up a Nazi Fort in our woods. It’s inside of a bar that houses the stupidest staff of people to have ever collected themselves. The dumbass 25-year-olds who work there have tried to rape my daughter on end and they all need to be polygraphed for trait-ing harder than any poor-as-can-be little wannabe has ever traited.

Please, arrest this Hollywood lunatic. His bank accounts are not real. So, get him for bank fraud. Thanks.

A man named Bill Skarsdark has been killing animals and writing curses to try to kill us to give our music to I-shit-you-not an underage 13-year-old prostitute that he cheats on his wife with, because he found out his wife likes women. He tried to kill me with a disease and I spent all night becoming very ill. He is attempting to get rid of me to keep his dark sex-trafficking secret and he does need to be arrested for taking $74 trillion dollars from Russia to get rid of my whole family.

“Due on 03/15/27: a terrorist faction in the United States would like to change EVERYTHING on Earth by blowing up the White House with C4 dropped off there by a drugged and brainwashed NSA agent. It’s really a nasty thing to do. The Earth quakes at a 29 on the Richter scale and it’s possible magma escapes the earth to kill many people in a molten inferno. You should try to prevent this. It could technically blow the earth into two pieces were I not so powerful that might happen.”

St. Moritz. We love this place. They just remodeled and it’s so beautiful that my daughter who is notoriously unimpressed by everything is actually impressed by something. Thank you, Johnathon! It’s beautiful! ✨

“Due on 03/27/26: a volcano in Northern Sumatra, Indonesia named Mount Sinabung will explode killing many of the local inhabitants and some native tigers.”

“Due on 03/09/27: Musket is the center of attention and he goes crazy in public and kills 9 people, because FINALLY the police give a shit that he is creating so many problems, because they have ket-cleansed and are starting to notice what a problematic person that he is. By “problematic,” I mean: he murders a lot of innocent women and children to avenge that he is not really 1 man’s soul, but 4 women and 6 men and he wants to be just 1 woman, but he is too immature for that few distractions.”

“Due on 03/27/26: there’s a shooting in my hometown Austin, Texas. A friend of mine named Troy will be on the scene. So, don’t go there that day, Troy and wife. 7 people are killed by gunmen from the world’s most nefarious gangster, Musket. He is on drugs aplenty and has hired people to kill our old friends.”