Me in 1768: I dislike the new Prime Minister and the Steam Machine is still too expensive.

Me in 2026: I dislike the new Prime Minister and the Steam Machine is still too expensive.

I am in disbelief that the only argument I'm seeing mobilized against age verification laws (and their accompanying social media bans) is “It sucks for privacy!”, and not “why the fuck are we okay imposing a digital jail on every single child?”

Digital privacy matters and it's an important reason why these laws must be repealed at all costs, but let's also please humanize the issue here: social media bans for minors are just another massive chapter in the conservative's playbook to deprive any social class that's not ‘adult white males’ of their bodily and existential autonomy.

That same playbook has chapters we're already familiar with, including staples such as “let's force gay kids back into the closet”, “trans kids shouldn’t be able to decide anything for themselves”, “women shouldn't have a bank account”, and “abortion should be illegal”.