Now there’s an idea.

I know!! Sometimes it’s even painted on the road in huge numerals. I explained everything to her.

I wish my windows worked like that!

My idiot sister racked up nine points in six months after moving to the UK. She claimed not to have seen the 40mph sign she blew past at 50. “They’re so small!” She only started paying attention when she realised she was one ticket away from a ban.

Time to get a hive! It’s only very slightly addictive, honestly. (My friends have stopped asking me about bees…)

We get free use of a spot next to an apple orchard, so I guess pollination is our “rent”, plus some honey. I don’t know what arrangement commercial beekeepers have - near us they move 60+ hives in when the oilseed rape (canola) is flowering, then move them again when it’s finished. A guy I was talking to said they reckon they can break even with 300 hives, because one person can deal with that many. More than that they have to employ someone else, and bang go the profits. Sounds like a nightmare. I struggle to cope with 7 hives!

No, you’re helping all the other pollinators too! Keep a corner of your garden nice and rough, with tumbled bricks or rocks, twigs, dead leaves etc to make a wee nesting spot for bumblebees.

Councils are constantly cutting down trees. inews.co.uk/…/trees-felled-uk-councils-10-years-3…

Lol, I was the computer genius in my office job because I knew how to change the paper size on the printer from Letter to A4. Soak up the praise!

That’s a swarm - get in touch with your local beekeepers group/organisation and someone will probably come and collect it.

Otherwise don’t fret, the bees will do their thing. Scout bees will leave the swarm and look for a new home for the colony (the queen plus a third to a half of the original hive). They report back with details, and a collective decision is made on the best choice. The swarm will then leave. (Honeybee Democracy press.princeton.edu/books/…/honeybee-democracy is a good read on this.)

Back home the rest of the colony have a new queen pupating. She’ll eventually hatch out, go on a mating flight, and come back to start laying eggs.