Mastodawn

This heat. I am so sick of it. It is just way too much. I drank 2 tablets of magnesium before bed last night but woke up at midnight because it is just so fucking hot. I was sweating. Just holy fuck. I don't know if I can take this without crashing out.

gaige 1d ago

All the news and political posts is just sucking the life out of me. I need to take a break from it and watch some girly stuff.

This heat and politics do not go well together. I really wanna crash out. I feel so frustrated. I need AC or 3 fans inside of my room pointing directly at me all on highest mode.

gaige 2d ago

I'm addicted to doom scrolling but my algorithm is actually full of educational & motivational videos

I remember someone said itll be easier for me to move on & change if I start to commit to doing something new that eventually the brain path(?) to old habits will eventually weaken

there was this other one that said to address the main trigger points in your life first or else the new habits you try to enforce won't work, how you cant fill your cup if there's a leak

umm which one? do both?

gaige May 16

It is always the phone. The tiktok, instagram, facebook, even youtube! Everytime Im on these apps I feel like I stop being human but instead become some other being that lays down all day scrolling like a robot. I forget about my goals, my life, my routine. I've been in a rut for almost 20 days & it is because of social media & me not being able to control myself. I was making so much progress but I just find it so hard to bounce back in life once I start going back to the phone. Ill keep trying

gaige May 14

I am truly grateful for open source applications but I kind of feel bad that the people that develop these might not make any money.

gaige May 12

I have to go to the gym even when I do not want to it's so embarrassing to be fat and wanting to change and especially going to the gym and it's just so embarrassing exercising and people knowing that you want to change it's so embarrassing

but this embarrassment is the reason why I am stuck so I just have to go to the gym I have to go at least once this week and try it out. HUHUHUHU I DONT WANT TO GO TO THE GYM ITS SO EMBARRASSING!!!!! HELP ME!!!

gaige May 11

I feel like I have some kind of chronic guilt. I always feel guilty, everyday feels like everything I do is wrong, and that I deserve some kind of eternal punishment and I am sick of this feeling.

Right now, I asked my mother for birthday money and she sent me messages several times and even called and I didn't answer and she gave me the money anyway and I just feel so guilty for not answering her call.

gaige May 11

I dont know if its the Creatine I took yesterday but today, I carried a 3kg jug of water inside my backpack & around 7kg worth of laundry. I'm not new to carrying this much stuff. My apartment is at the 4th floor & by the 3rd floor I'm already wheezing from exhaustion and I had to stop. I felt so heavy. Just now, I carried this much weight and I climbed up to the 4th floor just breathing heavy. I didn't have to stop to catch my breath. It might be placebo but wtf I feel strong

gaige May 10

The past month, I have just been sleeping full of regret & guilt because I didn't do enough in the day. But when I got back, I finally realized that its not healthy to end the day by regretting & thinking about everything you did wrong throughout the day.

I should be thinking about what I did right & be grateful for it be proud of myself. I thought that if I am upset at myself for the things I did wrong, that means I care deeply about it & Ill change but it just hurts so I get it now.

gaige May 10

The golden hour here in this room was one of the best I've had in a long time.

#photography

Movies	Raw 🎥 Dinner in America 🎥 Sinners 🎥 Past Lives
TV Shows	Heated Rivalry🍿Interview With the Vampire 🍿Severance
Music	Figvres - Himbing 🎵Searows - In Violet 🎵 Her's - What Once Was 🎵 Devon Again - Cherry Cola