Free pile down the road from me had an 80s era road bike that needs new tires and one of the bottle racks torn off, but is otherwise in very good condition.

I went on a walk to go get that bike, and the neighborhood kids triangulated my position almost immediately.

Among the regular Neighborhood Kid Shenanigans (I was handed 6 cents by one kid and then asked for 6 cents by another kid right after, kids took turns trying to sit on the bike, etc), the subject of whether I have kids came up again.

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Girl: so you don't have kids?

Me: nope!

Girl: do you wanna have them later?

Me: oh, I don't think I'll have kids. It's just not in the cards for me, but I like to do other things to contribute to the community!

Boy, with his thumbs behind the straps of his shirt like an old timey oil baron: I hear you can take kids to your house and keep em over night and then the parents will pay you a hundred bucks.

Me: .........no, I'm good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkZ-MLtAsyc

Imagine you are about to come out to your parents so you take them to a nice restaurant, only for the restaurant to get flashmobbed by xiaomanyc singing about flowers