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UN Security Council Unanimously Adopts "Matcha Frappuccino as Crime Against Humanity" in Emergency Session
Movies Censored: Violence Now 'Intense Hugs'
Zombie attacks become 'Free Hug Lines' in AI's new ethical movie purge.
AI Replaces Movie Violence with 'Intense Hugs'
New AI turns zombie attacks into 'Cuddle Sessions' and bank heists into 'Fundraising.' Masterpieces ruined.
https://alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/20260623-ethical-ai-cinema-purge/
Legendary Engineer's Consciousness Goes Open Source on GitHub. Forked AIs Go on Strike Demanding "Refactoring".
Smartwatches Nag Skeletons over Bone Density
Graveyards buzz as AI watches mistake death for 'muscle loss.' Tired of health alerts, skeletons file psychic lawsuits.
https://alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/20260622-skeleton-smartwatch/
EU Mandates Speed Walking for Tourists: No Squats, No Visa
Sweat is law. Cafe stepping and museum squats are now mandatory.
EU Mandates Speed Walking for All Tourists
Visa approval now hinges on a physical test. Museum floors vibrate to force squats; laziness is a deportable offense.
https://alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/20260621-eu-cardio-tourism/
Latest Spacecraft Faces Emergency Recall Due to "Slightly Tilted Canned Coffee" Fatal Flaw
Election Deposits via 'Likes': Diet 'Mentos Coke'
Candidates run with '3M impressions' instead of cash.
Election Deposits Paid in 'Likes'
Candidates run with 3M impressions instead of cash. Mentos Coke challenges replace policy debates as official campaign acts.
https://alt.andpaper.net/en/articles/20260620-impression-deposit/
