tobadzistsiniMay 26
Flowers wilted under the early summer sun to Wilt's dismay. His weather app threatened thirty nine degrees and the sky bore no clouds or hope for relief. Under a shady corner of the shed he found a green, plastic watering can.
As his garden hose filled the can, there was a poof followed by a strange visitor.
"You have freed me!" The genie bowed, "I am obliged to grant you a wish!" 1/x
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Show threadtobadzistsiniMay 26
His brow furrowed as he considered the blue fellow wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with, "Radical Islam" featuring an arab gleaming the cube. "Ah dunno, mate." He shifted, "This some Twilight Zone stuff?"
"Allah, subhanahu wa ta'la, give me strength" The djinn pinched the bridge of his nose, "This is why I have so many wishes. Rod Serling and others have weaponized wishes." He paced carefully around the garden in his Doc Martens. "I can not even give them away. So many cynics!" 2/x
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Show threadtobadzistsiniMay 26
"Bruh, chill." Wilt felt guilty, It's just mid-20th century psychology about pulling yourself up by yer bootstraps." He kinked the hose and set the can down. "Boomerthink." He tapped his temple, "Baked into culture." Wilt glanced around, "Speaking of which?" He held up a jay.
"No, thank you. It is haram for me."
Wilt toked and exhaled away from the blue man, "Whazzername?"
"I am Selim Dukhan at your service."
Wilt pruned his chin, "Maybe if you had someone advocate for ya?"
"Yes!" 3/x
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A poof later a burly, dark-skinned fellow in a muscle shirt and yarmulke now helped further crowd the yard. Upon his forehead was tattooed "אֱמֶת". As the new guy and Selim bumped shoulders, Wilt noticed how dirty the newcomer appeared.
"You verkakte shnook! Be happy this wasn't the shabbos!" His voice boomed.
"This is my friend, Clay" then Selim realized something. "What is your name?" 4/x
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May 26 at 11:44pmWeb
Show threadtobadzistsiniMay 26
"#Wilt?"
"Oy like the big-shot basketball player with all the ladies?"
The stoner chuckled, "Nah."
"So I am right" he turned to Selim, "I am always right" punctuated with a wink.
"Okay, Clay. Do you trust this guy?"
"Not as far as I can throw him, but he can fuck my sister anytime." Both doubled over. "But serious? Yes, bubbe."
"Wishes are legit?"
"One hundred poi-cent!"
He rubbed his chin. 5/x
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Show threadtobadzistsiniMay 26
Selim tilted his head and arched his eyebrows before waggling them. "Guaranteed!"
In the dogwood a blue jay screamed. Along the fence two squirrels spied upon the odd gathering. Somewhere above, around two angels, a silver jet sped towards the Atlantic. In the distance a car honked in annoyance. Kids laughed next door as they set up a lemonade stand. A lawnmower roared to life.
"Fine." 6/x
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Show threadtobadzistsiniMay 26
Selim jumped and rubbed his hands. Clay offered half a high five.
"I want a sprinkler. The good kind." His eyes defocused with nostalgia, not weed. He waved his arms, "Back and forth."
"Look down at your feet, friend Wilt."
With no fanfare, thunder, or nose wiggling, a new sprinkler in a box awaited Wilt.
"Dude!" He high fived Selim and Clay. "Thank you!" 7/x
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Show threadtobadzistsiniMay 26
"No, thank you for freeing me."
"What were you doing in that watering can anyway?"
Selim laughed, "Oh Wilt, too bad but you seem to have run out of wishes!" 8/8
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Show threadtobadzistsiniMay 26
@vollink See, I was afraid this would be a rip-off of Helene Wecker's "The Golem and the Jinni" but it isn't.