It has been a rough kind of day, I had some rent chores to tend to, which exacerbated both my pain and exhaustion, in between taking many breaks and even now I have not been able to get comfortable enough to relax at all, the wonders of doing anything often spins by #bipolar #mania into drive, which in itself is exhausting, a long time ago I realized how I used to have the energy to ride a bicycle hundreds of miles in a week while working 80 hours, and then later how I could manage working 120+ hours a week without crashing, now eventually that all caught up with me, but in the time since I have done my best to keep my body still and my mind as quiet as I could, as any physical activity seems to through me into a mania induced activation, and it has always been hard to keep my mind quiet, but between the two, along with my constant pain sleep often evades me, so doing chores becomes a fine line of balancing extra pain and at what point does my body refuse to shut down and relax, the sad thing is, there is not pre set limit what works one day may not the next and so on, it is a constant battle of will, and far to often I am stuck in a full speed go even though my body can no longer perform, and that causes more pain more exhaustion and really a great deal of aggravation, in anyevent I am having a hard time chilling out and relaxing and my mind is running so fast it is extremely hard to focus on anything at all;

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