I spent years thinking shared lunches were a struggle for everyone.
I assumed we all just suffered through them out of politeness.

Realizing that most people actually enjoy this (that it even recharges them) hit me like a total system crash. For me, social interaction is a crisis.

I feel like a tiny person locked inside my head, desperately trying to pilot a "meat robot" that is in emergency mode, scanning for the nearest exit to save my sanity.

It is a strange feeling when you realize your "normal" was actually a high-alert survival protocol. My battery just leaks in public. I mean, even talking with a colleague 1-on-1.

And it's not a "social battery", it's the main and only one I have.

#Neurodivergent #ActuallyAutistic #Masking #SocialOverload #MentalHealth #TechPhilosophy #Health #Thoughts #Fediverse