Mastodawn

I have a few different problems around storytelling (I s2fg I just need to start a blog)

#1 is that I've been sitting stuck in the first 20k words of this story draft for like 2 years. I've rewritten it 3 times at this point and I still can't get it to flow exactly how I want to. I've been stuck here and it's on my mind constantly but I just can't get it out. I'm scared of letting go and writing something else because I love the story and the characters and I don't wanna lose the versions of them that only exist in my head at the moment.

#2 is that for some of my ideas, writing isn't the best medium. Gay Whiplash doesn't really make sense as a book: a story about the pursuit of jazz with no jazz is just kinda hollow. I bet there's a way I could do it by moving the focus away from the actual jazz and focusing on the emotions and character building

#2a is that my next best idea is gay whiplash and its SUPER problematic. Like I love problematic relationships in my media but there's a limit! The abusive male band director trying to melt college kids down and forge them into something great is like the perfect media exaggeration of the moody band director every jazz musician experienced at least once in school. The female version that achieves the same thing through manipulation and then fucks one of her students? SHEESH. Maybe if I could make the student a little older as a graduate / TA but you're not really doing big band stuff as your primary responsibility after you finish your undergrad... Like a 25 year old with a 40ish year old is ok for media but 18-22? That's a bit rough. And it doesn't really work without the college framework because regular bands don't have the same kind of power structure that I want in the first place.

#3 is that I really do want to make a game, it's just that my storytelling brain and my technical brain find completely different things fun. My story telling brain wants to load up unity or RPG maker and get all the technical stuff out of the way but my technical brain wants to build something mostly from scratch without an editor like godot or etc.