Proto Himbo EuropeanFor no reason I'm going to post jokes. They will be horrible. I'm sorry.
Jews don't recognize Jesus as the savior of mankind. Muslims don't recognize Buddha as the path to enlightenment. And Baptists don't recognize each other at the strip club.
Q: How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the light bulb has to truly want to change.
(I was thinking of using a spoiler tag for the A: part but a joke this old doesn't deserve it)
A man goes to his doctor and says, "You gotta help me. I keep farting and the farts are really stinky! I keep them perfectly silent--there's no way anyone hears them--but then they smell so bad they can tell it was me!"
The doctor walks around the man, checks notes, pokes and prods, and then says,
"First off: You're deaf."
Bob traveled a lot for work, and he made the most of it. He loved seafood and always looked for good restaurants wherever he went. One month he went to Boston. He'd heard about one particular kind of fish they sometimes made there that he had never tasted. He was looking forward to his trip.
His plane was delayed so long that he didn't get in the cab to his hotel until near midnight. He was hungry, though, and had been looking forward to this. Boston was a big city; surely there would be at least one decent seafood place open at midnight.
He said to the cab driver, "Do you know of any place open right now where I could get scrod?"
The cabbie chuckled and said, "Sure, buddy, but I never heard anyone say it in the past subjunctive before."
Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama