I hate my internalized transphobia.
I want to see the beauty in other women.
In all of them.
I want to see the beauty in myself.
I want to see beauty, too, in
all our queer folk.

I want to inspire love.
And kindness.
And hope.
And strength.
I want to inspire, from the ways I've been taught.
And yet I have so much to unlearn.
So much I long to outgrow.

I love myself. I love myself.
I try, so hard, to love myself.
The echoes of my inaction
speak too loudly

Am I frozen?
I am active.
I am well.
I am stuck.
I am sick.
I am lonely.
I am unwell.
I am many,
and few and none.
I am pain, and
the coming undone.
I know not what I do.
I know not what I see.

I know not my face.
I know not my function.
I know not how you will hear my intent -
or find my words.
beneath noise.

#poems #poetryOfResistance