#PSA: posting photos and videos of your kids online ensures they'll never be able to meaningfully opt out of privacy invasion.

80% of children have an online presence by age two, with parents sharing an average of 1,500 images before their fifth birthday. β€”2017, Northumbria University

By the age of 13, children have had an average of 1,300 photos and videos of themselves posted to social media by their parents. β€”2018, UK Children's Commissioner

#Privacy #DataPrivacy

@alice
I just totally don’t understand anyone posting their young kids pictures online. Never did it. Now even with them grown I’d ask them first. Totally different mindset for some people I guess.
@JJ @alice I think they don't really treat them as adults in the making, but more as of their toy/pet/property.
According to Roman law, which the UK still uses, they kinda are.

@JJ @alice

I've asked parents to at least ask their children. It's interesting when a 7 or 8yo says no. Maybe they understand better than parents.

@alice there is a dark humor to the hysteria around age verification and child safety on the internet when you realize the call is coming from inside the building. None of the parents who are so concerned about it are even remotely capable of acknowledging that maybe they are the problem.

@alice This is why spouse & I have never posted photos of our kid on non-private accounts, and we've kept photos on private accounts to a bare minimum. She's 13 now. When she was around 7 or 8, we explained "online" to her as best we could & started asking permission to post photos of her. Sometimes she said yes, sometimes no. We respected both.

Of course, even private accounts aren't really private. We know that now. But we didn't then. It's been a while since we last put her face online.

@alice I am soooo thankful I grew up just before widespread social media and smartphones.

@alice How does someone take 300 pictures of someone a year?

I don't think I've taken 30 pictures of myself in my entire adulthood...

@rallias there's a lot of time spent with a kid who hardly moves but screams when left alone, so photos come at a higher than usual rate...
@rallias idk I probably have more than 300 pictures/year of my cat so I could definitely understand taking 300 pictures/year of your kid

@alice

Pretty sure that older millenials are the last generation to have that sort of privacy.

I even lost that one with some dumbasses taking pictures of a party we attended, and dumped on Facebook. No choice about it. Found after the fact.

@crankylinuxuser yeah, I ask people to not to photograph my face, and to not post photos of me without my okaying them first.

A lot of both older and younger folx seem oblivious to the massive privacy violation.

@crankylinuxuser @alice late GenX as well. There's a reason I *immediately* raise hell if I even think somebody's taking pictures of me with very, very rare exceptions. Doesn't matter if they don't post them online - their phone backs up to iCloud or Google automatically, and both of those scan all images for facial recognition and tagging.
@alice Meanwhile me: "Dear relative, if you want to see any photos of my child, you can go to the grandparents house and check the calendar or register an account on Ente where I can share the photos end-to-end encrypted."

@alice

There are several recorded and verified cases of normal photos being incorrectly flagged as CSAM resulting in arrest and prosecution, only for the case to be dropped when this comes to light.

At which point the lives of these people are ruined, as no one will ever believe them even if the authorities themselves clear their name

So no ever post bathing/swimming etc. type photos. Don't even take the photo as there are proposals to do on device scans

@alice
When I used to be on Facebook, I knew that when a friend announced they were pregnant I would never see a photo of them again.

Once the baby was born, it was customary to change their profile photo to the baby and then proceed to post only pix of the baby.

This happened time and again. My friends disappeared and their babies took their place.

I "unfriended" a few people due to this. I connected with *them*, not their baby.

It's really sad to see people erase themselves.

@shansterable @alice That is what they are told to do, culturally. This is the desired result for conservatives: women only exist to make babies.

@alice one of my friends sent me her oldest child's first dick pick.

Poor kid wasn't even hatched yet!

@alice We saw the potential danger early on, and didn't put any photos or videos of our child online, as a very deliberate choice. As he (he's starting his Trans journey, but so far still uses male pronouns) grew, we talked about the potential danger, the elimination of choice putting yourself out there too much entails. Now in high school, he gets school assignments like, "talk about your favourite photo of you online", and he's just, "no. it's not there, for good reason, and you shouldn't be encouraging it". He's a very smart young person.
@ZenHeathen good for him! My kid is smarter than most about that too, after years of me showing them how easy it is to go from a random selfie to someone's home address and relationship status with some careful searching and a couple tools.

@ZenHeathen @alice

Man this reminded me of a story I was told by someone after delivering an OSINT basics talk: the person told me that they had school projects in elementary school that were like "take a bunch of photos of your family and pets and house and make a little website for your family." These were then of course posted at live URLs for everyone to see.

There's an astounding number of reasons to want to not plaster your kid's face everywhere you're able, and it really sucks that people try to insist on stuff like that when kids are still just learning how the world works, let alone figuring out who they are.

@alice What a nightmare. I'm so happy to have been before that. Never had, and never will have, an image of me online. Parental behaviour like that is unconscionable.
@alice what if no names are ever attached to them? (easy if, say, not on Facebook...)
@acm_redfox @alice They're still revealed as having relationships with the people posting their pictures and other people in the pictures.
@dalias yes, but nobody has a name! I've always used pseudonyms, and also for my child, and only a few photos...
@acm_redfox all it takes is something like PimEyes to get some samples, and for one of those to have some personal info attached.

@alice Fuck that. If I ever get in the position of having kids, their photos or videos or whatever are staying private and not going anywhere near the web or a public stage in general, at least not until after they turn 18 and can make that decision for themselves.

Like, that stuff is supposed to be theirs and theirs alone to look back on, not for the public at large to gawk at or worse. Now, anything that notional kid posts for themselves after they turn 18 is completely their business, but nothing of them should ever go on a public stage while they're still a minor, there's a very, very good reason why release forms exist for class pictures and such at your kids' school, guys, you really should be using the same reasoning that professional shoots use for release forms, for your family pics.....

Also, people say kids' privacy is destroyed by being featured on social media, but I'd argue that erosion goes back to when AFV launched, as the whole premise of AFV is to basically send your family videos in to be laughed at on national TV, which I can't imagine how humiliating that would've been for a kid growing up when their classmates would've inevitably seen them on AFV and made fun of them. Social media amplifies that premise by several orders of magnitude.

Like, kids' privacy has been getting eroded by their most humiliating moments getting featured on a public stage and laughed at en masse for 36 years (AFV launched in '89), that's really fucked up when you think about it. I'm probably the only one tracing the roots of the erosion of kids' privacy back that far, and this is probably an extreme take to a lot of people, but just think about it for a minute; Kids getting paraded on social media is a huge problem, right? AFV is the analog-era precursor to that.

@alice the one decent thing my dipshit ex-BIL did as a parent was to thoughtfully lay out and explain why they were not going to ever post pics of their kids on any socials.

coulda taken his own advice, since he got busted cheating due in large part to social media.

@alice Yes... And some use services which they think are private - but none of them can be trusted.

@alice I'm always concerned, even when I share photos of my cats. Luck is that my black one never comes good, too dark for details in amatorial pics. The red one is so similar to any other orange short haired blonde striped. The red's sister is too elusive to have many pictures.

Put that aside: all this space, all this freedom in communication, and no privacy. No ethics is giving us respect. Someone finds the way to sell us and our dearest, like football stickers.
There's a criminal intent.

@alice @luc0x61 Like I added to my long post, there's a very good reason why release forms for class pics are a thing, one should be using the same reasoning for their family pics, and ideally no one should ever be putting their kids on a public stage while they're still minors and can't consent to it, period.

Don't put your kids' pics or vids online while they're still minors and can't consent to this shit guys, please. Let them make that decision for themselves after they turn 18 and can legally consent to doing so or not.

@alice Best way to share pics of your kids:
@alice been trying to get my mom to stop posting my kids but she has to get those facebook grandma shots 😒

@krazed Ugh. I asked my mom to delete any photos that show my face, and she did.

Then I asked her to do the same for my kidβ€”we had to have a firm talk about my kid's digital privacy.

@alice i’ve tried having the talk with my mom she just doesn’t get it or doesn’t care. she loves the whole shebang filters and everything lmao. i found her TikTok she is catfishing a shitload of people on there too 🀣. life was simpler when we didn’t know our parents digital footprint
@alice i won't even post my own face online anymore. they're literally cool with monetizing CSAM.
@alice Oh, and one more thing, if you really want to take family pics, guys, do not use your fucking phones for this shit because as someone else pointed out, even if you don't put said pics online, Google or Apple will still back that shit up to do who knows what with it, instead use a dedicated still cam that has no online functionality, eg. like a used 10+ year-old DSLR, so you can keep your pics stored locally on an external hard drive or something and keep them completely offline, or hell, even use something like an Instax if you wanna go fully analog with it and keep a physical album around.
@dfx4509b hell, even use an old phone with no internet connection if you want something small.
@alice As for video, that would actually be kind of a fun use for an analog camcorder, still, even in 2026, although you'll need some decent way to digitize footage in your workflow when it comes to editing stuff.
@alice it sucks having the instinct to share pictures with family over SMS, especially for something big like a birth announcement, but not trusting grandparents not to instantly blast those pictures all over facebook
@alice @cyberwitch Something tells me shit like this is one reason why people have been picking analog stuff back up, eg. like the Instax platform that to my knowledge is doing pretty damn well for itself, or even picking up old digital still cams, on top of actually being able to own their stuff, especially with Instax giving you a physical copy of your pics.
@alice Since I was a kid people said not to post photos on the web. It' so WEIRD that people no longer follow this advise.
@alice @qgustavor You can post your art online as you're generally not showing yourself in a drawing or painting or anything, but photos, and especially any that show your or anyone else's face are, or at least should be, a hell no, wildlife pics or weather pics notwithstanding as hopefully there will be no people in those as they're not the thing you're trying to shoot in that case.