Mastodawn

CW: trauma bonding, substance use, emotional abuse, gaslighting, addiction

I thought it was love. But my nervous system knew better.

If you've ever wondered why you can't just leave someone who's destroying you — this is why.

Thunderously significant that much of this account is foreign to my life, but the stuff about oxytocin addiction is word for word my experience.

Took so long for me to say to myself: Christ, Rob. This is an addiction. It's not like an addiction; it is one.

I wasn't running my own behaviour anymore.

Good news is, I ground my way out, with lots of help, a well-trained Zen practice, and my own hammerheadedness.

Best metta to all who are battling, and/or have battled.