HollieRed capes seem like bad planning, like how do you tell who has an arterial bleed and who just got their cape wet
"5 times, Mrs. Bueller"
Jason and the Argonauts sounds like a band made up of Jason and all the other guys who failed auditions to join the Argo's crew
The beard game is strong in ancient Greece
Jason is so smol
I didn't know Hercules invented frisbee golf
I like how she can close her eyes when the movie gets too ridiculous
"If I meet a woman with a full leg and a warm bosom"
Wait, so like, you're looking for a woman with one good leg and warm boobs? It's nice that he doesn't have unrealistic beauty standards
Imagine Hercules in a revolving door, just using those giant muscles and spinning everyone around
"Wait, were we supposed to take stuff? Or NOT take stuff? Geez these details are really hard to remember"
Wow that guy really didn't want anyone to steal his brooch pin
Having once rowed crew, I can tell you that backing up is not that easy
Admittedly I was never forced to row for my life away from a menacing giant on the shores of Lake Washington
I mean, you guys rowed right to him, what did you think was going to happen
Imagine if you called 911 to report a guy following you with a sword and 911 was like, "Use your wits and look to his ankles"
THANKS FOR NOTHING, EMERGENCY SERVICES
Use a quarter
Guys with half-built wooden kayaks in their garages that they've been sanding for seven years: Yes, putting a boat together is definitely that easy
Hercules, ruining it for everyone
Me, honestly, as a kid looking at pictures of ruins: Why didn't they ever build roofs
This really puts annoying mosquitos in perspective
Maybe just build him a house with a door he can lock
Jason: <quietly, into the wind> Steady as you go. Easy.
Guys rowing twenty feet away: WHAT
OOOooo, a drummer, okay now it's getting cool
I don't see how he can possibly have leverage with his lower half being a fin but whatever it's fine what are physics anyway
The crew later, drunk at some pub: AND THEN WE SAILED UNDER A GIANT MERMAN'S ARMPIT
Everyone at the pub: Yeah sure guys
Okay well we know which boat crew needs a stern lecture about toxic masculinity
Okay I think maybe give up the golden fleece and start a small pharmaceutical company with that flower
The power of purple glitter eyeshadow cannot be denied
DO NOT DENY IT
Important Man enters, flanked by Bored Guys
Wow, they're pretty moody here
Jason and Medea
Sittin' in a tree
F-L-E-E-C-E
Me, a spinner: I wonder if the golden fleece smells like dirt and lanolin
Okay I'm just going to say it: Jason sucks at swinging a sword
You'd think something with seven brains would be a little better at strategy
Jason: I killed yer hydra and stole yer fleece, SUCKAS
Shrieking like a little girl would also be my response to a gang of sword-wielding skeletons
I wonder if they ever get BONE TIRED
How did I not ever notice that cheerleaders are wearing Ancient Greek Fighting Skirts
Bargaining with peoples's lives and taking way more credit than they deserve make the Gods seem kinda like corporate managers
We made it! And we only got a little fleeced
Thanks for the laughs everyone! :) Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!