My favourite Barry Cryer joke...

A man walks into a pub and the landlord's astonished. Half of the man's head is half of a giant orange.

'So sorry to be nosy' the landlord says, 'but why is half of your head half of a huge orange?'

'Well, I was cleaning up the loft', the man says. 'And I found an old lamp. I polished it up, and a genie came swooping out of it, saying, "May I grant you any three wishes, master?"'

'So I said, "I'd like to have a million pounds - and every time I take the million pounds out of my pocket, another million appears there."'

The genie said, 'Your wish is granted. And your second wish?'

The man says, 'I'd like a big house with 100 beautiful ladies in it.'

'Your wish is granted,' says the genie. 'And your third wish?'

'I'd like half my head to be half of a huge orange.'