why do i need a birth certificate i was clearly born 
@peachymist i was born and all i got was this lousy certificate

- carrie
@aperture would not recommend
@peachymist actually, jess, you weren't born, we found you in a hole under a pink tree
@lumi so i do NOT need a birth certificate!! take that bureaucrats
@lumi @peachymist Even the Nicene Crede says about Jesus that he was "born, not made" ("genitum, non factum").
By that logic, it's reasonable to question that about any being, no matter how legendary.
@[email protected] I actually didn't have one (and never needed one) before my name change, but I got one with the name change certificate, so I guess one exists now ​
@mitsunee waow i never met someone who didn't have a birth certificate
@[email protected] I just never needed to get one made, apparently they don't make those by default here; costs 14€ to get one printed out too ​
@mitsunee @peachymist That's quite the difference from some places where they're required to even get the ID needed to get a (legal) job. It leads to lots of silliness sometimes.
@peachymist Do you remember it in details? Could you tell what was the color of the walls, or how was the weather? That's what I thought... Maybe it in fact never happened
@Ragon2 so i wasn't born? cool
@peachymist I don't know. You could be faking it.
@arctic tbh i'm not sure i'm not
@peachymist Then would a Death Certificate be proof of life? 👀 🤔
@peachymist that's how I feel when they offer me a receipt for my coffee. What do I need a receipt? I have the coffee!
(Edit: also point taken and agreed)
@peachymist how is that clear though
@nicole4fox i'm saying so 
@peachymist hmmmmm do you gut a certificate that i can trust you?
@[email protected] this is what authoritarianism given us! they've played us for absolute fools
@0x4d6165 @peachymist It is surprisingly difficult to un-dead yourself as well once it’s been accidentally declared
@yassie_j @0x4d6165 "sir i swear i'm not dead"
@[email protected] @[email protected] literally that monty python sketch. I feeeeel Happy!!!!!!
@0x4d6165 @yassie_j which one is that? if you have a link i'd like to see it, love monty python :3
Bring Out Your Dead - Monty Python And The Holy Grail. Remastered [HD]

Funny scene from the movie: Monty Python And The Holy Grail. 1975.I Can't Take Him Like That... It's Against Regulations!Starring: Eric Idle, John Cleese, Gr...

YouTube
@peachymist Some people spawned in cabbage patches or garbage cans though.
@peachymist proof? @grok is this true?
@peachymist maybe you haven't been born but have been hatched? Or maybe you're even an alien with weird reproductive cycles? Who knows without your birth certificate?
@[email protected] maybe you hatched from egg like some sort of bird. We donbt know.
@[email protected] It's to show your excellence in being born at a prestigious medical institute, that you're not just some amateur born at home. It's important for your career. ​​ /j
@peachymist
Once at the disability office I overheard the exasperated clerk insisting she needs to see the "proof of birth" and the mother just kept holding up the baby.
@silvermoon82 lmaoooo "ma'am do you have a license for that baby"
@peachymist for supply chain security reasons apparently
@[email protected] tbh in some places they also feature the medical condition that you're born in which can be useful for knowing what medication to give you, what illnesses you may have, blah blah blah

But just for the sake of proving a person exists when they're clearly right in front of you I still don't get it
@peachymist How would you know what sex you are if you didn't have a birth certificate? Sex assigned at birth is the foundation of the Judeo-Christian family!
@peachymist But what if you're just a very persistent collective hallucination?
Or maybe you come from the future so technically you're not born yet?
So many possibilities...
@peachymist "mm. mhm. yep. looks born to me"
@peachymist
Wondering, I'm a Blåhaj, how does that certificate thing work for me?
@hapi oh you don't need one don't worry
@peachymist
Thanks, that is a relief!
@peachymist were you, though? who said you weren't maybe assembled in a dinky workshop somewhere? or synthesized in a lab?

@peachymist
I will refrain from giving a serious and bleak answer.

@me