tobadzistsiniMar 9
The folder was full of invoices and Alfred fell into a mechanical rhythm.
Purchase order number.
Invoice number.
Invoice amount.
Invoice date.
Confirm inventory with invoice.
Confirm invoice terms.
Submit and record the voucher number.
Droning in his ear was a science fiction podcast which turned into Charlie Brown's teacher as focus shifted to the work at hand.
Now and again, like the thought interruption from Harrison Bergeron, he'd hear 'boku no aware' clear as a bell. 1/x
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Show threadtobadzistsiniMar 9
A clear mind, courtesy of the mindless work, began to wander a path of associations. "Clear as a bell" followed by the memory of Tony Soprano ruminating on the dock at his vacation house until his reverie was broken by the sound of a bell.
A portent, if David Chase was to be believed, but also a reminder to bring the meditator back to the real world. When writing his little yarn about psychics and monks, he utilized the knowledge for atmosphere. 2/x
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Show threadtobadzistsiniMar 9
For a minute Alfred flipped open Pitchr, browsed his direct messages, then shared ephemeral nonsense in kind with friends before returning to work.
What struck him is Lily didn't send many.
Typically there'd be a backlog of 15 minute of vids and memes.
"Must be busy" he thought but a snatch of a doubtful whisper consisting, "She's done with you" wafted like a fart through his mind.
"Boku no aware."
Again.
Invoice.
Voucher.
He caught himself whispering 'Boku no aware". 3/x
#wss366
Show threadtobadzistsiniMar 9
He popped open Scratchpad and typed:
"Overdue invoice,
Your terms were amenable:
Buy now, pay later."
Alfred counted the syllables.
Five.
Seven.
Five.
"Boku no aware."
Again.
There were two and a half hours until lunch. He'd do research then.
For whatever reason, his subconscious wanted him aware of the phrase even if he couldn't #grasp its meaning.
"Boku no aware." 4/x
#wss366
Show threadtobadzistsiniMar 9
Lunch.
A cursory search kept giving "mono no aware". This he knew where the Japanese had compassion towards inanimate objects. He remembered an article about funerals being held for Aibo robots in Japan by lonely pensioners who found comfort with their toy dog who was beyond fixing.
He thought of Pinocchio and yokai. How after a century, an object develops a real soul and comes alive. A centenarian Pinocchio would become a real boy without a Blue Fairy. 5/x
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Show threadtobadzistsiniMar 9
Further down the rabbit hole in the corners too dark for his chosen search engine, he discovered 'boku', or more properly 僕, means 'I' or 'my'. Aware, not aware, meaning pathos or sorrow.
Lily may have ghosted him, no big deal being par for his course and knowing she had her own fish to fry, but it didn't haunt him.
Yet 'boku no aware' did. 6/x
#wss366
Show threadtobadzistsiniMar 9
"My pathos" he whispered. "My sorrow." As if saying it aloud would solve this riddle.
He reviewed his mental thought log, found connections from his brief trip to Cape May the other day. To Sunset Beach where he wants someone to scatter his ashes.
"Nobody visits graveyards" he'd tell people, "But everyone goes to the beach. Even if they aren't there for *me*, at least my ghost won't be lonely at the shore." 7/x
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Show threadtobadzistsiniMar 9
Plus Sunset Beach was his happy place. Even if some of his cremains washed into the water, they'd have a grand adventure.
To Alfred it'd be best if no one remembered him.
No mourners.
No tears over what little constituted his life.
Even he couldn't find tears for himself.
This was his life and he'd cry if he wanted to.
There was no one.
And then his phone chimed and brought him back to reality. 8/8
#wss366
Show threadAsakiyume
@tobadzistsini love this one. Love "boku no aware" Especially loved Toot 5: "A centenarian Pinocchio would become a real boy without a Blue Fairy."
Mar 10 at 2:56pmWeb