Martin's Pipe Dreams
I have come across gentle dom/soft dom as terms but it still seems to involve a lot of roleplay and associations I don't think I'm into.
But I do think I'd like someone to take control and lead so I don't have to decide what comes next all the time, I don't have to set the pace and don't have to think about/guess as much how to make a partner feel good because they tell me how to touch and do stuff. Just respectful and loving interaction but giving up the lead and mental load.
Also no a bottom which is often the more passive role as I understand it.
Also in context of being inexperienced and very insecure.

Is there other terms I'm not aware of? Where to find stuff about that? it seems hard to google. #getfedihelp #fedihelp #kink
Mar 8 at 6:03amWeb
Show threadFroogal Mar 8
@pipe_dreams So its sounding like you aren't a bottom but want to be a bit more submissive. The roll you are looking for is someone to be a "power bottom" for you i think.

A power bottom as I understand it is a bottom who is a more dominant one. Even though you might think of a bottom as the more laid back role its not always the case.
Show threadMartin's Pipe DreamsMar 8
@Froogal thank you very much. yeah probably not a bottom. willing to try with someone I really trust tho. I have only known traditional gender roles and am looking to change that. got a lot of anxiety to deal with.
Show threadFroogal Mar 8
@pipe_dreams im sorry I feel like im not fully understanding. Are you saying you're not a bottom? Or your aren't looking for a bottom? Just making sure i get it right.

I understand, im not quite in the traditional gender role and im very happy, im my wife's sub. She collared me a few months before we got married.
Show threadMartin's Pipe DreamsMar 8
@Froogal sorry I meant I am probably not a bottom. yes looking for one who'd introduce me to some none hetero stuff at least to talk about things. coming out a bi at the moment at 45.
Show threadFroogal Mar 8
@pipe_dreams I remember you, I connected with your struggle because I came out last year @ 31 as bi. You can share your experience if you want. Been struggling with it all my life, just couldn't keep it in anymore long story short I got tired of my family talking to me about how bad LGBT people are to me while I myself was one they just didnt know.
Show threadMartin's Pipe DreamsMar 8
@Froogal the worst struggle right now is not being able to talk to my partner about this. and the looming suspicion that whatever I do it will hurt both of us. we have been together 16 years now. I feel really bad.