myrmepropagandist

Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

wrong answers only

Feb 27 at 8:27pmWeb
Show threadLocal Dad, Ben HamillFeb 27
@futurebird Kink reasons.
Show threadLeaping Lords MasticatingFeb 27
@benhamill @futurebird it says “wrong answers only”
Show threadDFeb 27
@futurebird to charge the microwave
Show threadNeia masksFeb 27
@futurebird As an alternate method of charging the microwave if the power goes out. Just hook up a couple of those external batteries and you're cooking again!
Show threadpatxiFeb 28
@neia @futurebird
...cooking the entire building.
Show threadSnoopJFeb 27
@futurebird I mean it says very clearly right on there: it's for charging the microwave
Show threadSnoopJFeb 27
@futurebird thanks for sharing this, adding it to my `New Folder (explicit)/normal electronics` collection
Show threadCatFeb 27
@futurebird so you can charge your devices while they're in the Faraday cage
Show threadRobert [KJ5ELX] Feb 27

@futurebird

Good news! They're connected directly to the magnetron so they'll charge your device in a minute or less!!! You no longer need to put your device directly in the microwave. Please note that the popcorn settings is not recommended.

Show threadGeePawHillFeb 27
@futurebird If you pre-warm a phone before you nuke it, it'll dry out faster.
Show threadFaith, Purple haired feminist 🧋   Feb 27

@futurebird To charge your phone.

You did say wrong answers only.

Show threadAlex FeinmanFeb 27
@futurebird Rechargeable popcorn
Show threadNeo EhproqueFeb 27
@futurebird so you can apply security updates to the firmware?
Show threadSimenFeb 27
@ehproque @futurebird Why does it need security updates? Because someone could connect a malicious device to a USB port, of course!
Show threadAndy L.Feb 27
@futurebird Plug in a microphone so it can figure out when to turn off the popcorn.
Show threadEdwardFeb 27
@apLundell @futurebird bro might be cooking
Show threadmyrmepropagandistFeb 27

@yugthebug @apLundell

If you beatbox too close to the microwave you'll burn the popcorn.

Show threadEdwardFeb 27
@futurebird @apLundell wouldnt it stop early?
Show threadmyrmepropagandistFeb 27

@yugthebug @apLundell

It stops when the average space between pops falls under some wonderful threshold i think?

Show threadEdwardFeb 28
@futurebird @apLundell oohhh smart
Show threadTallastro 🇺🇦Mar 6
@yugthebug @futurebird @apLundell
Because Apple wouldn't let them use Firewire
Show threadDFeb 27
@futurebird load new MP3s for the timer/alarm.
Show threadJohn MaxwellFeb 27
@futurebird - So the mind control devices can coord- uh, sorry, what was I saying?
Show threadFlipper 🐬🏳️‍🌈Feb 27
@jmax
Dude, not in front of the humans.
@futurebird
Show threadAndrewFeb 27
@futurebird plugging in a controller
Show threadNeia masksFeb 27
@futurebird My spouse says you can plug a USB cable into both and it's an impromptu heating element! ​​
Show threadDún PiteogFeb 27
@futurebird to reboot it with Linux
Show threadDianeFeb 27

@futurebird

so you can plug a controller in to control the claw that you can use to grab your overly hot food

Show threadGlyphFeb 27
@futurebird it's where you plug in the temperature probe
Show threadBradalot “”Feb 27

@glyph @futurebird

that usb port delivers enough power to cook the turkey

Show threadTrinsecFeb 27
@futurebird Food is not the only thing you can fry!
Show threadSunnJax 🌷🏳️‍🌈 Feb 27
@futurebird Plug in your game controller to manipulate your food while it cooks.
Show threadCatFeb 27
@SunnJax @futurebird microwave? Claw machine? YES
Show threadBen O’MaticFeb 27

@futurebird

Too many people were charging their phones by putting them in and starting the microwave.

Show threadLuna ArsonFeb 27
@futurebird to play doom on the microwave? Duh
Show threadJon QuassFeb 27
@futurebird
Speed ports. They make the microwave work faster.
Show threadmparkFeb 27
@futurebird to run Doom
Show threaddstuFeb 27
@futurebird to find a new way to sell you $55 replacement fuses for when you inevitably plug two devices in *and* run the microwave. (It says not to do that in the manual!)
Show threadBunNICKula🇨🇦Feb 27

@futurebird

Skip the oven, just plug this in and boom.

Show threadEvil Kitty  Feb 27
@futurebird for when I am hungry, I love eating USB ports :3
Show threadEvilKiru 🇮🇸 he/himFeb 27
@futurebird To hasten the arrival of the apocalypse.
Show threadWhine SpectatorFeb 27
@futurebird I was told this was a 2000W microwave why is this charging so slowly
Show threadranjitFeb 27
@futurebird so you can plug in one of those usb mug warmers to warm up your coffee, since there's no other convenient way to warm it up nearby
Show threadMoss WizardFeb 27
@futurebird it’s for the Ultra Scrumptious Brownies attachment, sold separately
Show threadSusanna the Artist 🌻Feb 27
@futurebird To daisy chain the rest of the smart kitchen appliances.
The microwave’s connected to the air fryer,
the air fryer’s connected to the coffee maker,
the coffee maker’s connected to the juicer…
Show threadJocelynFeb 27

@superflippy @futurebird

Possibly you can plug in an old DVD burner or two and prepare nice-though-brownish pancakes to go along with your microwave reheated instant coffee?

Show threadTobias 🌒🌕🌘Mar 6
@superflippy @futurebird and hear the name of the //KZZZKKKT/
Show threadRoryFeb 27
@futurebird The ports allow the microwave to cook USB drives.
Show threadDr David MillsFeb 27
@futurebird that's for plugging in a GPS unit to discipline the magnetron frequency.
Show threadDaniel LakelandFeb 27

@dtl @futurebird

Someone already said kink reasons.

Show threadSlightlyCyberpunkFeb 27
@futurebird Convenient way to power the Raspberry Pi/Arduino when you start prototyping new control electronics!
Show threadKhleedrilFeb 27
@admin @futurebird ... because you always do that on the kitchen worktop.
Show threadSlightlyCyberpunkFeb 27
@khleedril @futurebird I meant new control electronics *for the microwave* to replace that silly keypad and LCD; sorry if that wasn't clear :)
Show threadFlipper 🐬🏳️‍🌈Feb 27
@futurebird for charging the new monthly subscription fee that all microwaves will soon have.
Show thread0xC0DEC0DE07EAFeb 27
@futurebird to plug in the kettle!
Show threadAlex H aka SimplyNachtFeb 27

@futurebird stupid question. You need to charge your food (or Hamster) before heating it. Cold food (or Hamsters) are known to be low in energy, as the calories are not active in a cold state, so you'll have to charge it Up. As an alternative you can also put a (at least 5000 mAh) fully charged Li-Ion battery into the microwave. Works basically the Same. You're Welcome.

Oh, and just to be on the safe side: if your house burns down, it must've been because you didnt use USB 3.0 or the battery wasn't fully charged.

Show threadRoryFeb 27
@futurebird In all seriousness: I wonder what the US ports are for?