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I have been in a crisis for over a month now, and I would like to remind everyone the effectiveness of suicide prevention.
First off, I have been scared to call the suicide hotline, as I was afraid this was a part of the government, and that if I called, I would be taken away. After research, I can now clearly state this is not true, as the suicide hotline (tel:988) is run by a non-profit charity, and in no way relates to the current government. Although I didn't use the hotline this time, I got help from locals. You probably can too, there are places in most towns and cities that will help with this (some even have physicians who will help) and if you don't live in one, it is definitely worth traveling to.