Blue Emu

I've debated about whether or not to say something publicly about this, because I feel pretty dumb. But ultimately, on the off chance that someone else is dealing with anything like this, I think it's worth some embarrassment to help out.

About 2 1/2 years ago I developed symptoms consistent with #POTS. Basically, as soon as I was standing, my heart rate started to increase. My resting heart rate of about 80 would skyrocket to 120 or 130 within minutes. I would sweat heavily, and before long my legs would start to feel like lead. I had an episode where I collapsed in the hall, and another where I had to call Ivy @jenniferwaltersdances for help to get back to the car. Once I could sit down, I would rebound quickly, but I just couldn't stand, let alone walk, for more than a minute or two without trouble.

Now, to complicate things, I'm also fat. So my first thought, with all the internalized #fatphobia, is that I've got heart failure at age 50.

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Jan 9 at 4:42amWeb
Show threadBlue EmuJan 9

Now, I quit smoking tobacco in 2015, and celebrated 15 years without a drink this past December. I am not (yet) diabetic, I do have HBP but it's controlled, and I even quit caffeine about 6 years ago (when I used to say you could pry my Diet Mt. Dew from my cold, dead hand). But, you know...I'm fat.

My GP, goddess fucking BLESS her, is a "health at every size" believer, but #POTS is a constellation of symptoms and not a specific disease, so you're mostly blind to begin with going in. That means specialists, and they are more or less universally "Fuck you, fatty" levels of shitty. Most of them start with "you need gastro because you're so fat" and then stop listening.

So here you are, just trying to figure wtf MIGHT be going on with you that suddenly changed recently, and the only thing everyone but your GP will tell you is, "Hmmm, yes. But still...I mean, you're so fat."

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Show threadBlue EmuJan 9

Like, let's be real. It's hard, with #fatphobia ingrained as deeply as it is, to even ask for help in the first place. by the time I finally got a "tilt-table test", I needed mobility assistance to avoid falling again, no question. But I refused to ask for it, because I was embarrassed. And that is straight up internalized #fatphobia. I tripped over a wheelchair after walking in from the garage, then tried to go to the testing facility, just short way away, by myself in the wheelchair, only to need help navigating the small hill from a passing stranger, again, bless her. And bless the doctor there who did his job without ever letting on that the procedures were different and I couldn't actually use the regular tilt-table, because it's not built for you, fatty.

Anyway, I just wanted an answer. And so the other factor, is the #cannabis. Have I "used" cannabis? Um. I have taken what can fairly be described as an "experimental" dosage of Rick Simpson oil.

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Show threadBlue EmuJan 9

At my max, I would take 1 gram of indca oil per day, in two doses. I started because of lower back pain, like people of many fucking sizes, and it helped. And I like being high, and you know *wave* and I can, thank god, get a medical card. And a person could criticize me for taking that much cannabis. Because, I wasn't kidding, without smoking a single thing, without hardly vaping at all in years, just oil and some supplemental other edibles, I confess my mg per day was a lot.

But a lot of smart people were on this. My wife, my sympathetic doctor, a series of specialists for a variety of problems, gastronomical (bouts of nausea and vomiting) and #pots. The only guess my GP could make was "let's control what we can control." First I stopped taking clonidine, and that noticeably helped. I had asked for that, bc it seemed to help me sleep, and it's pretty harmless addition what with the bp. Then we have to male some moves, and I have to stop with

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Show threadBlue EmuJan 9

so much RSO.

And lo and behold, after completely coming off it, slowly, the problem has faded. Yes, I'm still fat. Thank you for reminding me, as is your "duty" doctor Contemptible. Can you be bothered to consider my specific situation at all? No, fatty. The knife for you, or no health care.

So, some lessons.

First of all, and yes, I'm blisfully high tonight. thank you.

And what the hell.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xWsRASLaWE&list=RD-xWsRASLaWE&start_radio=1

You Speak My Language

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