Mastodawn

#UXfail #badUX #ITnightmares #CorporateLife #SecurityTheatre

I create a new password. *Please confirm on your mobile device.*

I wait a while but the linked password manager app that my company makes me keep on my phone does not produce a notification.

Eventually the dialog times out.

#UXfail #badUX #ITnightmares #CorporateLife #SecurityTheatre

I create another new password. This time I force-close the app, and then the notification finally arrives and I confirm with my fingerprint.

*Password doesn't meet our arbitrary and stupid complexity requirements, please try again."

This is doubly annoying because it could have told me that before going through the two-factor confirmation rigamarole, and also because nothing indicates what the requirements are, just that the 27-character password with caps and numbers and symbols that I entered wasn't complex enough.

#UXfail #badUX #ITnightmares #CorporateLife #SecurityTheatre

I know that it's 27 characters because I counted them, from the piece of paper I've written it on and stuck to my monitor.

The password manager will not update the Windows password on its own. I have to remember to go in and update it myself later, or next time I reboot I will be locked out. So every password I've ever used is written on a scrap piece of paper and carried around with my laptop, just in case.

#UXfail #badUX #ITnightmares #CorporateLife #SecurityTheatre

🦞🚴🥔

I create a third new password, which is also not complex enough. Then I wildly guess that some part of the process doesn't like one of the symbols I used, so my fourth password is only letters and numbers.

*Your password has been changed successfully, please log in again.*

#UXfail #badUX #ITnightmares #CorporateLife #SecurityTheatre

I am returned to the Windows login screen, and enter my new password, from the new scrap of paper attached to my monitor. You know, "security".

*Your account has been locked due to too many unsuccessful login attempts. Please contact your IT department.*

My IT department is one guy, and he's also off this week.

#UXfail #badUX #ITnightmares #CorporateLife #SecurityTheatre

The company's payroll is due today thanks to the bank holiday this week, and that's my responsibility with a professional certification on the line, so I do not have the option to wait for support from IT. Even for incredibly advanced tasks like "turning on my computer".

Fortunately (?) I also have an app for the company's password manager on my phone, and very nearly everything I do is SaaS, so I am now doing the company's payroll on my personal laptop. Which is now accessing every employee's personal information and has none of the security vetted and certified by the company, just whatever free privacy tools I happen to have.

You know, "security".