Mastodawn

Honest question: If I ask Santa to clear all the Jira tickets assigned to me, what will Santa do?

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sophie (the one with the blue profile picture)Dec 24

@nixCraft santa will kill u causing all the tickets to be assigned to someone else cus dead

@nixCraft rm -rf --no-preserver-root on the jira server ^^

@nixCraft They’ll create a new ticket to do that. 🤣

Peter Koopman 🦣Dec 24

He'll ask in what color you want your dragon.

Chris Ellis Dec 24

@nixCraft Closed: Elves Won't Fix

Dennis Frank Dec 24

@nixCraft Nothing. He uses Asanta.

Pierre Cardigan Dec 24

@nixCraft #wontfix (hohoho)

Coding Physicist Dec 24

@nixCraft Push the fixes to prod during the holidays, so you get called back to hotfix Santa's fixes.

MyNameIsRichard Dec 24

@nixCraft He'd probably close them all #wontfix

Arnel Šarić Sharan

@nixCraft give you another subscription based software

drop table jira

Viacheslav A Dec 24

@nixCraft "Closed. Won't implement"

SanskritFritz Dec 24

@nixCraft
he will give you an AI agent that closes all the tickets with the solution "not reproducible".

@nixCraft just assign him a ticket for this I guess.

markn🚲Dec 24

@nixCraft I suspect he'll set your Request to State "Rejected" in 2026. If you're really unlucky he might also set the associated label "naughty".

Don't mess with Santa.

Semur Jengkol Dec 24

@nixCraft no, Santa does not use #jira, he use #forgejo

Alien software, human hardware Dec 24

@nixCraft he will get you a pair of socks and a sweater with a funny picture.

Heliograph Dec 24

@nixCraft tags *WILL NOT DO*

@nixCraft is santa a new vibe coding tool ?

Owen 🇦🇺🦘Dec 25

@nixCraft If he does the right thing, he will burn Atlassian to the ground to rid us of ALL their cr@p products.