Hotspur🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦

Decided to rewrite a holiday song now seen as problematic...

SHE: I really can't stay
HE: OK
SHE: I've got to go away
HE: OK, no problem, I get it.
SHE: This evening has been
HE: ......Yes?
SHE: So very nice
HE: Thanks, I had a good time myself.

SHE: My mother will start to worry
HE: I thought you lived with a roommate.
SHE: My father will be pacing the floor
HE: You said your parents were in Arizona
SHE: So, really I'd better scurry
HE: Fine with me, I'll get your coat
SHE: But maybe just a half a drink more
HE: (groans)
SHE: The neighbors might think
HE: Then you better hurry
SHE: Say, what's in this drink?
HE: Hey, YOU mixed those drinks, I didn't touch 'em!
SHE: I wish I knew how
HE: .....Knew what?
SHE: To break this spell
HE: Um, I'm not comfortable with this
SHE: I ought to say, "No, no, no sir"
HE: OK, I think you need to go.
SHE: At least I'm gonna say that I tried
HE: You haven't tried anything. Nobody's stopping you.
SHE: I really can't stay
HE You bet you can't
BOTH: Baby, it's cold outside

Dec 21 at 4:58pmWeb
Show threadHotspur🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦Dec 21

SHE: I simply must go
HE: I'll call you an Uber
SHE: The answer is, "No"
HE: What, you're gonna walk?
SHE: The welcome has been
HE: Abdul says he'll be here in ten minutes
SHE: So nice and warm
HE: Yeah, it's been nice and all, but really...

SHE: My sister will be suspicious
HE: You said you were an only child
SHE: My brother will be there at the door
HE: A brother now too?
SHE: My maiden aunt's mind is vicious
HE: Dammit, Abdul, where are you?
SHE: But maybe just cigarette more
HE: HEY NO SMOKING you better take that outside....

SHE: I've got to get home
HE: Yeah, we both agree there
SHE: Say, lend me your comb?
HE: Us, sorry, it's broken
SHE: You've really been grand
HE: Yeah, thanks, I guess.....
SHE: But don't you see?
HE: And you're not seeing something yourself.....

SHE: There's bound to be talk tomorrow
HE: Hey, your ride will be here any minute
SHE: At least there will be plenty implied
HE: I really don't care.
SHE: I really can't stay
HE: OK, Abdul is downstairs, here's your coat, see you later
SHE: Baby, it's cold
BOTH: Baby, it's cold outside
HE: GET OUT

#BabyItsColdOutside #ChristmasComedy #HolidayHumor