Ok, like, what if #TheCount is just a really goth children's edutainer who had himself done up to look like a vampire puppet?

Conversely, what if the Count was a real vampire, who'd been made short and pointy like a goblin as part of the curse, and actually did have to avoid sunlight and drink blood, but was really good at math, and just wanted to be a kind man who taught kids?

Either way, I'd totally date and/or have #sex with him. This doesn't seem unreasonable to me.