Mx. Luna Corbden 🐸A really good week for me.
I still have high-pain days, which makes it hard to believe sometimes that I'm healing.
But the signs of improvement are unmistakable. I'm really only a couple of weeks in to having a sustainable amount of work and pressure, where I can pace myself at leisure, where I'm not having to force myself through pain and exhaustion multiple times a day, even through things as small as making lunch.
Even though my pain yesterday ranged between 4-8, and I had "pain-fog" (it's brain fog due to hurting too much to focus on anything else), my emotional outlook remained at peak, and I worked for what to is me a full day (2.5 hours). In fact, I clocked almost ten hours this week, and ten hours hasn't been a realistic goal for most of the year. (Eight hours had become my strettttcccch goal!) Some of that was even being alert on a long, important call where I was the driver of the conversation.
So I'm still getting fatigue and pain, but my capacity has increased. I'm doing well on the self-restraint of not taking on too much, or thinking "Oh, I can push myself to do one more thing," or even pushing too hard on my recreational activities.
The "push myself on one more thing" was necessary, because the load was larger than my capacity. So I had to work in whatever I could while capable. Which was not sustainable. Being "capable" is not the same as avoiding fresh injury, and that's not the same as space to heal. I've had to work hard to carve that out.