Ante MortemNov 17
Laura Manach 

If you're naked on your front porch and the neighbors can't see you, its rural.

If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors call the cops, it's suburban.

If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors ignore you, its urban.

If you're naked on the front porch and your naked neighbor (also on their front porch) waves at you, it's Florida.

Nov 17 at 4:03pmBuffer
Show thread⁢Ƥĥąɳʈȯɱ   🎸 🏳️‍🌈 ⁂Nov 17
@cmconseils 👍🏼
Show threadAnomnomnomaly BSC SSCNov 17

@cmconseils

What if I'm naked on YOUR porch?

Is it your birthday? 🤔 😆

Show threadSomething or Other Nov 17
@Anomnomnomaly @cmconseils Gosh I had THAT level of confidence
Show threadLaura Manach Nov 17
@farah @Anomnomnomaly 🤣
Show threadNorman WilsonNov 18
@Anomnomnomaly @cmconseils Whose birthday suit are you wearing?
Show threadPhreakByte the OctopusNov 17
@cmconseils been there, done that 🤣
Show threadLog 🪵Nov 17

@cmconseils If you're naked on the front porch and the door locks behind you, it's your cat.

If you're naked on the front porch and people walk right past you and go into your house without even acknowledging your existence, it was below freezing when your cat locked you out, and you are now a ghost.

Show threadSarah SammisNov 17
@cmconseils so if you’re naked on your porch and your neighbor can see you but can’t call the cops because you’re unicorporated. What sitch is that?
Show threadAbieNov 17
@pussreboots @cmconseils English is not my first language, and unincorporated land is emphatically not a thing in Europe.
I spent way too long wondering whether uni-corporated meant one-body person (are there any other kind??) or a one-corporation micronation.
Thanks to google for fixing the typo...
Show threadSarah SammisNov 17
@temptoetiam @cmconseils aw. So we look like a suburb and we are nextdoor to a city. But we aren’t in a city. No mayor. No council. No police. I suppose the sheriff could be called.
Show threadCrazyDogLadysezPEACENov 17
@pussreboots @temptoetiam @cmconseils The county police respond to 911 calls for police.
Show threadSarah SammisNov 17
@heartofcoyote @temptoetiam @cmconseils actually where I live I have a 50/50 chance of it being sheriff or chp. But the original post was about police. My response was tongue in cheek. But you want to be states the obvious person on the internet. Fine. You do you.
Show threadJess👾Nov 17

Sheriffs are functionally the same as police, even if they go by a different name and have a county as jurisdiction rather than a city.

@pussreboots @heartofcoyote @temptoetiam @cmconseils

Show threadCrazyDogLadysezPEACENov 17

@JessTheUnstill @temptoetiam @cmconseils I would say functionally substantially *similar* rather than same. Jurisdictions have different ways of doing things, but sheriffs and county police are not the same. Our county has a police department that does police work. The sheriff’s department supports the county police and the police for jurisdictions within the county and has other responsibilities like for jails.

Broad explainer here:
https://www.police1.com/police-jobs-and-careers/police-vs-sheriffs-key-differences-explained

Police vs. sheriffs: Key differences explained

How do their roles and responsibilities compare?

Police1
Show threadCrazyDogLadysezPEACENov 17
@pussreboots Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?
Show threadCrazyDogLadysezPEACENov 17
@temptoetiam @pussreboots @cmconseils In the US, “unincorporated” in this sense means the land has not been incorporated into a city or town. So if you live in an unincorporated area (like I do) you pay taxes to the feds, your state, and your county, but there is not a local district taxing me and providing me with governmental services. As is often the case in US suburbia, the county we live in provides those things, including police & emergency services.
Show threadMad EngineeringNov 17
@pussreboots @cmconseils in practice land that rural involves a county sherif, who will take 30+ minutes to show up.
Show threadPatate sauvage 🍉Nov 17
@cmconseils ha j'aurais pensé qu'en Floride, le voisin aurait tiré direct...
Show threadMusiqueNow   ✡️ 🇵🇸 Nov 17

@cmconseils

😂

Show thread❣️a standard deviantifa +/- gravyNov 17
@cmconseils this is the first time i have added anything to the "pro" side of the argument for moving to florida.
Show threadPeter HuppertzNov 17

@melioristicmarie @cmconseils
Your neighbours will be retired, which sort of diminishes the advantage of such an arrangement.

Spoke the retired dev who doesn't want to be found dead in FL.

Show threadStray Adult ☯️📚📸Nov 17
@cmconseils 100% correct
Show threadKinene⭐🐻Nov 17

@cmconseils No.1. It would take hours for the Sheriff to show up. And no one would care.

(for non-US readers: "Unincorporated" means outside the boundaries of a city's formal jurisdiction. Most such areas are overseen by a Sheriff's [from "shire reeve"] office, which is often under-staffed.)

Show threadCrazyDogLadysezPEACENov 17

@c_merriweather @cmconseils Yeah unfortunately too many police departments are happy to take the overtime and grants for military hardware instead of working on a budget to adequately staff themselves. 🙄🫩

But how long it takes them to show up varies from fine to “you had to come HOW far?!” Where I am is a rare barely-affordable unincorporated town in an affluent county. So the cops from the county and nearby towns live here & we get pretty quick service.

Show threadKinene⭐🐻Nov 17

@heartofcoyote
We are rural. The county seat and Sheriff's office is 25 miles away, over a winding two-lane road. There are a number of "villages" spread around the county (pop. ~65,000), and two incorporated towns with their own police forces (~5,000 and ~13,000). That's it.

@cmconseils

Show threadCerhnNov 17
@cmconseils If you are unclothed and on a bike in portland, it is a protest.
Show threadʙᴇɴ ᴄᴏᴛᴛᴇяɪʟʟNov 17
@cmconseils If you’re naked, doing exercises in the morning and the school bus kids start waving at you. They’ve got a new double decker and the parents will try and fine you.
Show threadʙᴇɴ ᴄᴏᴛᴛᴇяɪʟʟNov 17
@cmconseils American mothers are stupid.
Show threadʙᴇɴ ᴄᴏᴛᴛᴇяɪʟʟNov 17
@cmconseils I may be a European idiot. But I find it fun.
Show threadApriloq - Gobble GobbleNov 17
@cmconseils likely Pasco county.
Show threadAmy de BuitléirNov 17
@cmconseils ...it's Florida OR California.
Show threadWilliam Fry 🏳️‍🌈🔵🐸Nov 17

@cmconseils I'm rural.

I've lived in my house for 22 years and have never closed the curtains. 😂

Show threadRichie RichNov 17
@cmconseils 🤣
Show threadStanley Nerdlinger IINov 17
@cmconseils
If you’re naked on the cell block and everyone is whistling and banging metal mugs on the bars, then the screws come in, bum-rush you to the floor and haul you off to solitary, you’re in prison
Show threadFaraiweNov 17
@cmconseils zero lies.
Show threadThomas JonesNov 17
@cmconseils

Where is it if they ask, "where's the party and can we come join"?
Show threadPsycodepathNov 17

@cmconseils my spouse went with the kids to a "rehab center" this year in march. It was on the north sea coast. Single digit temps. The first thing is saw when i visited were an elderly couple naked on their terrace "sun bathing".

So if you see that you are on the german north sea coast :D

Show threadGary FuggNov 17
@cmconseils
Show threadrexiNov 17

@cmconseils

loving off-handed Florida compliment.

of course, as Portlander, I go riding bike naked...

Show threadDeka BlackNov 17

@cmconseils Florida NEVER dissapoint.

Because is Florida

Show threadPhillyinfloridaNov 17
@cmconseils Was that you waving?
Show threadMaria Langer | 📝💎🌵🛥️Nov 17
@cmconseils @kboyd Proud to be rural.
Show thread🦊 🍸Faux around & find out⚠️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿Nov 17
@cmconseils I mean, it could be parts of California…
Show threadRFanciolaNov 17
@cmconseils 😁😁😁
There are good things in Florida too, I didn't know! 😉😁
Show threadeargasms247365Nov 17
@cmconseils 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Show thread@threeforks@Mastodon.SocialNov 17
@cmconseils I feel seen. (Floridian)
Show threadAlopeceNov 17
@cmconseils I always wondered how the US Census made these distinctions. I always envisioned a much different, more boring, set of evaluation criteria. Learning is fun!
Show threadraweNov 18
@cmconseils btw works great to control who will (not) buy the house next door for which price
Show threadnotyourkeyNov 18
@cmconseils interesting
Show threadJanet GrootebroederNov 18
@cmconseils If someone is naked and people make a huge problem of it or think it's about sex, then you are in America.
Show threadMaura HubbellNov 18
@cmconseils In Florida being naked on the porch is just sensible.
Show threadIrene (she/they, Sir/Mr.)Nov 19

@cmconseils

Youre making Florida sound like a place I want to go to, and now i need to go home and rethink my life 😭😭😭

@quixoticgeek

Show threadPhreakByte the Octopus5d ago
@cmconseils if the neighbour is naked on the front porch and the neighbours isn’t ignoring its Farum 🤣