Zarir Madon (@zarirmadon)

My first paid post is out! Subscribe early to get on top of these reads. Look. Let’s be honest. Shohei Ohtani isn’t a baseball player. He’s a cosmic typo-a celestial copy-paste error that somehow slipped through the universe’s quality assurance team. Because no mortal should be allowed to both throw 100 mph fastballs and hit moonshots that require orbital clearance. That’s like discovering your barista also moonlights as a Nobel Prize-winning quantum physicist who casually solves cold fusion between oat milk lattes. Yet here we are. Shohei Ohtani, the man who makes two-way baseball look like a casual Tuesday hobby while the rest of us struggle to microwave leftovers without setting off the smoke alarm. Read more by subscribing!!! https://zarirmadon.substack.com/p/shohei-ohtani-not-a-human-just-a?r=61j483&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false