Aurin (ki, ki, kis)How dare I not become a headless chicken and run around in a panic???
overcoming lifelong fear-based indoctrination and death threats, both bogstandard capitalist ones (about how I need to "EARN" a living and housing and human rights) and nazi satanist ones where idk some boogieman will drop me like a fly if I think the wrong thoughts in my head or blog the wrong words on the inter webs.
(this is me intentionally using laughable language like boogieman to re-train my thinking. To de-throne my abusers' power fantasies-by-proxy: satan, the invisible hand of the market, their fake version of "human nature" (supposedly inherently weak/evil/etc))
This is what comes up just trying to decide how to take care of my body when I feel under the weather. Fun is had. /sarcasm
For realsies though, right now I don't see a difference between the satanist nazis and normal capitalism. It walks like a duck and talks like a duck and quacks like a duck: Complete erosion of the Self, complete submission of the physical body, actual literal Death as the only allowed alternative.
What they don't tell you is that there are SO MANY alternatives out there though! Life is so amazing, so wonderful, so plentiful! Natural and cultural and human diversity is almost limitless and when we reject their artificially scarce and narrowed worldview, when we realise that the map they drew for us was never actual reality, was not even a close representation of reality, then we can find other means and other ways of survival. Starting with free thinking, self compassion, mutual relationships and caring communities (at least for me. That's the path I chose.)